Books Taken on trip
Living Opera
two George Carlin books
Bitch is the new Black
Four Empty notebooks
on anthology on black bodies
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I am angry a lot now , even when I'm happy
and people are nasty soul aching nasty and rude and assaulting
Peopel like commerce because it allows them to put someone in "' their place"
Money means you never have to act right , or be sensible
Being in a service city lets you see that a lot
Teh system makes you feel unloveable un worthy harried and pressed
adn the only way you get to feel better is to buy shit
but that doesn't work
but it gives you teh benefit of having someone to be an ass to to say hurtful things to because you have money.
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I don't have much of a good follwo up to what happened to ma'ia here
I really don't
Because I know what it's like for some wack ass second rate myopic navel gazing sight to get their yayas and page hits up from your popularity in back channels
only to do no research and even less reading
I deeply understand what it is like to respect someones opinion who disagrees with you and feel really fucking sad that teh communication is already tainted by peopel who use slurs and nastiness and general fuckery to paint you as a beast by the time you look up
I never ever wanted that to happen to someone I call friend
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I'm also lets be plain not impressed at all with Renee or Latoya and teh hoardes of other WOC going well oh mi god they really ARE NASTY AND CRUEL AND MEAN and classist to WOC /poor women/ trans women/ sex workers /mamis
It was never cause I was a dyslexic or BFP was a poor mami or Lisa can work herself up like a toddler or Monchel was too young or Ilyka was too brash or mamita was all hair
or Ren or Joan kElly were a sex workers was one etc etc
That was just the in
i'm just sad because no one should be hurt for exsisting
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I read an essay form Yes means Yes that got selected as best sex writing because it was about sex as performance
and knew right then that this person has never had any idea of being put on show when you didn't want to be
and what it means to be made to perform when you don't want to
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Performance is a nice way of getting out of responsibility
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I still think the big beefwith ma'ia from Jezebel, with teh unranging asshat who tells BFp that " her old site was better"
With peopel who would attack meloukhia, with every fucking race fail in sf fandom forever and ever amen
and all my writing whenever someone pays attention
is responsibility
Such writing such work demands you take responsibility for your pleasure. for your inaction
nobody ( yet) has said you musn't do it
but that you can NOT do it ( demean children, WOC , disabeled people, swoon eveyrtime your called on your privilege genrtrify neighborhoods, consume until stupid) and
claim you are doing everything you can , claim there is no more you can do
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You cna't do everything alone
That's why it's called a movement
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*F*eminism is struggling and would rather abuse those who would point out the problem than fix it
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Progressivism is cancerously myopic
Badly organized
Smugly talked about
Tehy ahve no vision taht isn't be better than republicans and
make sure we don't have to do much to do it
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Sherry Sherrod did soemthing dangerous
she showed you could still be hurt and conflicted and do better than peopel who talka good game
she pointedout where liberal and progressive america had been asleep in regards to race and power ( thnx dorianisms) second only behind middle class black organizations
she showed that doing the work of righteousness often precedes having the thoughts of happy shiny diversity
and often are stronger
She showed that those mean nasty ugly balck women hold up communities taht aren't even their own , and suffer for it
and still manage to have something that can not be killed that lets them shine light in teh world
That is what makes people like Breitbart REALLY scared not the next fucking glib comedy sketch or chummy article
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I can't wait to have fruit not from a plane
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I love the idea of going to my nothing country
famous for
being teh place where other peopel do idiot things
Search for golden cities
brain wash and murder vuknerable innocents
and destroy natureal environs
but god how we love it
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I'll miss you
Be back soon
Love you
yes even you
