thinking

So I have been mullingt his about in my head over and over and over because even when I barely use it I feel a need to write some kind of year end wrap up on the blog.

And what I want to do is two fold.

The blog of course was started for me to deal with my shit which I am still dealling with

but also at the crux of it I wanted to optimize my nerdyness and verbosity and tech dweeb goodness to find solutions or at least work paths

to making “things” better

And I guess i did I developed some cachet ( which I promptly blew) got some notice where i promptly told them to go jump in a lake .

I am trying to dealwith my thing about self righteousness.

SO i wantedto clear it out in my head on my facebook on my blog in the streets

because frankly I am about to give it away for free.

I am boutto dedicate some time to writing ( in addition to a play) a really long policy paper about fixing a problem one problem

and facebook

it’s also about my bitter and my smug

I was doing parts of my wrap up when I tried to look up the professor what if exchange in Feb and it was gone.

I wanted to find it because all other things aside , a lot of what I posted in my questions follow up

but ten months gives you some calrity and I want to say distance but I won't

because frankly I don't have it and things that are happening recently just confirms why I don't

because I changed myself after that.

Specifically after that exchange I stopped reading or acknowledging Renee in any form and reread Racialicious only because of links from non blogger friends

and I feel like an asshole but

I laughed at this

and then I felt bad

but mostly I laughed and i felt like shit for laughing because no WOC discomfort even if I feel like saying well yeah that's what we were saying

That's why need ing to prove diversity was such a problem in the discussion here ,

That everything about us has to be proved , we have to be __ enough or market __ enough or conform____

because the problem isn't that folks ain't getting enough

because when it was happening to us it was a problem of tact of blah of blah

but now there are NO systems there are few response mechanisms that don't depend on our ire or abuse.

it's still being talked of as a marketing issue.It's still a concept and not lives

I got sent this as some call to women's issues .

Mind you

Race ability money the actual treatement of women the actual orgnising is treated to places at the table'

the problem isnt that WHOLE of the last paragraph

but the important part is not where we are who we are what we work for

but who is on the DAIS.

Because it's about being professionally recognized for our "work to the common good"

where has all the professional feminism.anti-racism

done for our lives.

what will more of it do?

Because ten months a year three later the same people Still being boycotted

The same connections ( seal press's authors are now doing extra special on Huffington post and disappearing it)

and my hurt feelings or well yeah I was kind of prescient

isn't the point.

The fact that Feministing/NOW/SP ? HRC name we went at em are still assholes

what is scary is that while rights are erroding fissures are growing and teh feel of necessity to combat it is not happening

what will MOre of it do

Christmas

GO HERE

http://blog.cripchick.com/archives/5534

no seriously go there and give

http://blog.cripchick.com/archives/5534

Urgent Community Support Needed For Youth Organization

Hi beautiful blog readers,

A few of you may have noticed that a lot of my posts are about my experience as an organizer with the Disabled Young People’s Collective, a crew of disabled youth living across North Carolina. By “collective” i mean that we share decision making power, rotate responsibilities, and are volunteer organizers working with a shoestring budget. It has been a challenge to become a collective (a lot of this has been around internalized ableist beliefs and disability hierachy) but I am so proud to be a part of DYP because it really teaches me what interdependence can mean and what leadership can really look like.

I am not able to go into too much detail online but the more we radicalize and organize from our own vision for what we want community to look like, the more we have taken financial losses. As a group made up of youth of color, foster youth, queer youth, low-income youth, and youth with disabilities traditionally ignored by the Disability Rights Movement, we are all fighting for self-determination in our own lives and do not have financial resources we can put in ourselves.

Right now, we are in the red and we desperately need to come up with some money so we can meet in January to regroup and figure out how we are going to move forward. Even though we will be sleeping on the floor of a friend’s apartment clubhouse, cooking our own food, and carpooling, it still costs a couple hundred to host a meeting that meet all of our access needs.

Our collective has done a lot of amazing work this year (for example, our Disability History Month Initiative where we went into ten 8th grade classrooms to teach about eugenics, institutionalization, self-determination and youth power this past October) and we want to continue it. Please help us make this possible by visiting thedypcollective.org and hitting the paypal button on the left!

This organization has transformed me and I thank you for your support.

In community,

cripchick

PS. Everyone who makes a donation will receive either a button you can rep DYP with, one of our limited 113 page zines that will teach you more than you ever wanted to know about disability rights, a few of our bookmarks highlighting frida kahlo, audre lorde, teddy pendergrass and other amazing disability leaders, or one of the hot DYP tshirts we rock everywhere (this will get you noticed!!). Our website is still under major construction but you can find out more at http://thedypcollective.org

I hate my googgle reader

Okay a short request before I go off into the world

Dear white writers

Please PLEASE for the love of Christ stop using Tomming as an example for identity group betrayal.

especially with cutesy -y hyphens

While I'm sure whatever two lit class and a couple sociology classes you took gave you a deep understanding about what that figure means to black people .

and just how fiercely it is TAKEN and MEANT

it b becomes obvious that you simply heard

" how can this be used for me"

because truly they important thing to note was that she didn't shatter the glass ceiling

not that she fed her children and kept her home and did so all most all under her own steam .

and all the steps that come with that Passing were often sexist and disturbing

That's the part you missed when we were talking about , it's not an easy choice and is defined by that Damoclean need to make a way where there is none.

and while it's a lazy thought bubble way for you invoke your message , what it really stands out as is a quick way to show that

While you are not in that kind of situation you are all about making moral judgements on it usually safe warm and with a full belly .

And not even with the actual VENOM betrayal and hurt that it's leveled with.

Also

Huffington Post

No

NOPE

NO

The more appropriate title for this tripe is

" HOW DID THE TWO MAGICAL NEGROES WE TRUSTED NOT DO WHAT WE WANT"

now while Miss Solodor-Warren fights a hilariously bad I'm not ___ ist battle

.( take any other marginally successful white feminist bent writer with her gender perceived as her only "real" axis of oppression and keyboard watch fail)

Now as many of Obama's supporters feel betrayed I merely point out


that he is doing the things he said he did and keeps it moving.

When many RADICAL not jsut slightly left of you PROGRESSIVE but RADICAL writers pointed out that hey he's not SAYING anything is that different he wants his change to be specific.

So many people were quick to point out this is how you play the game etc

guess what one of the things I respect about the man the most is he does what he says he would.

I didn't like it in 2008 when he campaigned on it , don't like it now when he does it.

which is different from a golfer who makes obscene amounts of money on saying one thing and doing

JSUT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE THAT CROSSES his path

which honestly win't my business nor do I care,.

And black rolemodel shit don't fly because most black people I know are still ok with Obama and could barely care about Tiger

so the black role models ( which she is quick to point out are half other and yeah not going there) are to whom exactly?

RIGHT!!

Teh two black role models that SHE found acceptable behaved in manner that doesn't make her feel good . And rather than being just bad role models and joining each in their RESPECTIVE failures to people of SIMILAR failures .

She joins them together because truly that is the important factor.

That she had FAITH in those men and they did her wrong

and they were black while doing it.

Alphabet Soup is better than the devil

why are so many people stupid? Yeah, i know thats not the political correct world, but people talk about racism but call it alphabet soup or talk about violence against women, but call it cupcakes. I know this may not make sense, but stupid people are rubbing off on me- The inemitable Fallon Wilson

Yesterday was World Aids Day , today is the Stupak Rally

And I sit realizing that I haven't "commerated" any of these in my mediums of communication. Not my twitter , not my blog, not even my tmi is my name Facebook.


But I can't I am so STUCK in trying to rationalize and theorize on why when frankly here's the truth.

In my bones I feel that these remembrances at the level that the touch me that I see them are lies are straight up macro dividing parasitic hydras exponentially multiplying to consistently congratulate themselves.

in short I don't give a damn about AIDS day

or STUPAK

I give a damn about

PEOPLE WITH AIDS

I give a damn ABOUT

WOMEN who are being F*D out of healthcare

and everytime I read this WOHOO ! YEAH LETS GET OUT LETS REMEMBER THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO US!!

I want to honestly start shouting obscenities and swinging.

I want to land blows.

I want to land the kind of blows you throw only when people are coming after your kids and you know you ain't gonna win you just want to be remembered and if very lucky take more than a few people with you.
I think what bothers me the most about these things especially on THIS day.

Is that peopel feel really congratulatory that we can rally about the rights of women ( most of whom are there because of poverty a, race, ability issues which is why they are AT the chopping block anyway)

but very few of these organizations have any long armed groups teams or leaders or even more than a lipservice to those issues.

The rhetoric is organized not as a move towards justice or change for tax paying Americans, workers, and residents

but as a fight with " power' to assert our "presence"

and if by our you mean peopel carefully selected to make people in power amenable to discussion rather thanpeople who force change

and by presence you mean lust to have their positions you'd be right.

and it's phrased like we're talking about strategy , like were talking about theory

dried and dusty until yes it's ass if

we're talking about alphabet soups of words

instead of the reality that WOC and poor women and not properly documented women are being told the penalties for daring to want to won their own bodies.

and no if it is not said every time it's not assumed

not when organizations have the gall to tell you the are for WOC issues but have the really fun track record of getting rid of every WOC who ACTUALLY brings those issues up with any urgency or emotion

or that they simply rotate out until they find one who doesn't give em problems. and can't tell you why

but tehy keep "learning" even as they kick you in the face for fun

And it;s not easy when bringing it up means you call another WOC a tom or a sell out

BUT

you still can't fucking help but wonder why is it their real okay with the repeated battery of our issues and selves because you know

"work must be done"

like it's a an alphabet soup to steal the voice and tongue from another in order to " save her life"

that you can't wonder why we mention that it's Black Women who die from followed closely by LAtina women

but there is little connection of that to our reproductive health and justice

I'm tired and angry and honestly don't give a damn .

I 'm tire dthat no one asks why I have to call my congressman to be healthy and while i have seen my congressman I'll be straight up lying if I saw anybody from teh people telling me to call him as a sista

not as an ivy league web liberal.

And I'm tired of teh handwringing when we don't get excited that women do something dumb

and why we can semantically defend Carrie PRejean and Sara Palin and honor their voices when they do stupid mena spirited things

but can't talk to women whose lives depend on our actions

but damn sure can sit at high powered luncheons and broker on em.

How does teh HRC have a transgender section and nothing Transgender Rememberance day?

How does PP never get to my hood

How do we claim to love kids but can't find palces for them to stay

and on and on and on

and how is it anything but sTUPID

willfull ignorance

how is it anything but alphabet soup if it matters why isn't it there

and I don't want to here working on it dealing with it.

I wnat answers

and it is hard trying to locate work and be in places where thatis happening where it s real and not jsut the shit you say on the newest way to the limelight or the raly or teh party

with teh wind of a thousand silenced at your back

as if being better than the devil makes you god.