Yeah I'm a geek

For FOC _U

You need to know I am a geek . I big geek , Spock was one of my first crushes, I have seen every episode of firefly twice, I readfanfic, and review entire comics cannon

NERD child.

It's not aprt of my interests I regularly blog about becuase well this blog was bout me being a woman of color and my specific experiences and

well that includes being a fen of color.

And it's RACEFAIL 2009

Now what's special on this race fail is that it's not feminism but general fandome but the principles remain the same.

We don't exist

It's only now that we knew you were here

we're so poor and irritated blah blah blah to be a part of the fandom

I told you that second thing that was important to me was seeing Star Trek.

More importantly

seeing Star Trek with SPOCK/UHURA

so my spock crush and my little black girl linguist fantasies were both honored

but something crept up in the fandom ( an essential part of fen is that you form community fan fic smut loving you may not want to but you claim these weirdos as your own community)

People are UPST that Spock is with Uhura

now this is where my nerd child kicks into gear, as Uhura is the only one to play the vulcan lyreAND is the only person to get a smile out Spock and is IN CANNON as his mentee

and then I though about my other love

Firefly

and how Zoe while being the kicking assest to ever kick ass woman in the verse.

was often reviewed by some members of the fandom as being doting or "weakened" by her husband

and it' s become something I call

the

" Why is the black woman allowed to have a husband"

AKA as the like clockwork character assassination of any sista who is romantically attached to anyone above the accepted B-list sidekick of dubious talents

What struck me about these was the sheer mental gymnastics it takes to justify being against a relationship for this women

is based almost entirely on the need for these women to be archetypes of idealized " SBW" ness

because while a flawed struggling romantically inclined heroine in a white woman is GREAT AND STEPS FOR WOMEN

a black woman must walk an impossible to thread line that straight up

NEVER includes her own personal fulfillment

Star Trek has been a doozy

(this post gives you the gist of it)

but if you notice the ultimate end game is that she can not regardless of what she does , make a pleasing choice that ends up with her happy

and it is especially amusing as a " trekker" I say trekkie my love for all of my geekiness knows no bounds is that

while science fiction can imagine alien furballs and spawn multiple full languages it can not imagine a future or a space where Black Women can be happy with out having to invoke whore, or in a no win double bind

but is happy to complain that there aren't enough women to introduce a character FOR THE SOUL PURPOSE OF BEING WITH SPOCK WHICH THEY CLAIM MAKES UHURA a whore NOT TO MENTION NO CANON

or taking shots at a woman's willingness to be in her relationship as " subservience"

and how much does it mirror the experience of black women IN fandom.

where in women in fandom are constantly finding things " wrong" with the representation of women but has no care to listen to the representation of BLACK WOMEN and how they perceive these things meanwhiel championing white heroines as "complex"

and mainstream fandom spins around every ten years to tell us well it's TO HARD To deal with becuase we are so NEW ( as NEW as we were last decade)

or the constant barrage of unfounded ungrounded insults and degradations that go unanswered becuase someone jsutc an't explain why we make them so ANGRY

but where here today and we'll be here tomorrow

and yeah no only does impractical hair teh ability to wear the fuck out of a mini skirt and a love for dangly earrings ( or relaly huge boobs) not make you an amazingly big nerd

Niether does brown skin.