Post 500

I'll be memorial like later now I'm just mad
I am very very protective of people I love.

Mostly because I believe they will suffer for loving me. It is the first lesson my mother ever taught me.

I don't think she believes it , nor was it what she intended to teach , but I watched as the world taught her that.

The very IDEA behind this post brings out a rage in me.

Because while 5'7 and adorably athletic , the same thing would happen to my mother at periodic intervals.

You see there is an assumption in a woman especially of color with an accent has better things to be doing than raising her own kids.

And it is resurfacing again because now we are taking care of a precious baby boy , because his momma is dead and his grandma

is not a citizen

and is

someone else's nanny.

and what most of elle's " liberal" commentators fail to realize ( mostly because rather than listening to elle is secondary on their road to finding a way for THIS NOT TO BE RACIST)

is that there are perfectly acceptable conversations that happen when you find someone your child clicks with in a "special way" that value that connection and that person .

And none of these things happen there in.

Pretty and friendly as a hostess is par for the course. There is something about pretty and friendly in this case that ELLE'S NIECE was taken aback by that signaled something unsettling about the RIGHT TO BASICALLY TRY AND USURP HER AT HER JOB.

what clapifyoulikeme keeps saying is but babysitting young blah blah blah .

Well if you AREN'T AT WORK ALREADY cool, but the presumption that the job you have is less important than tending some kids you don't know WITH NO SETUP NO INQUIRY AND NO ACTUAL WOOING isn't an offer it's a presumption of hierarchy.

This lady had no goddamn interest in this girl besides a pretty commodity and while it means something TO YOU it may mean something very different who has DIFFERENT history with being sold.

aka as your opinion in this story serves to further nothing but alleviating this white lady by inserting your self in the position of someone ( someones actually an entire family of WOC who are offended

This is not the way you ask someone you respect to consider working for you at their place of employment. Notice how everyone changes this from a place of employment to just a simple "conversation"

all on the basis of the belief much like miss millie that self love and care would automatically be extended to her offspring

Bluey 512 while your busy looking for a way to propose that this might not be exploitative try this

In any situation where in the power dynamic is so imbalanced that you can safely assume that any response that does not AUTOMATICALLY privilege one party over another could be harmful or detrimental to the second party even if they are simply expressing they're actually desire ,

if the more privileged entitled party DOES NOT GO OUT OF THE WAY TO ENSURE EQUITY

guess what

it's exploitative.

and the false what is her role as a mother bullshit

What is her role as a mother
to raise her kids.

thank you for the nice try at making POC who are marked y generations of mothers being unable to raise their own kids not liking a dynamic that forces them to enable white women exploring other venues at THEIR EXPENSE as some sort of misogynistic fantasy.

It fails miserably

raising your own kids DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY mean staying home ,but using someone else's labor to establish your standing , and or participating in an unfair economy

IS YOUR OWN DAMN CHOICE

( and the fact that while elle mentions no mention of rate you feel the need to tack it on SPEAKS VOLUMES)

and save me heartbreaking irony

It's manipulation and coercion. It's use of privilege to ensure a certain lifestyle that very often disrespects any kind of community connection the worker may have to maintain a certain status and or leisure .

You don't ironically pay someone less than their worth, you don't ironically ask someone to do the day to day labor or raising a child while inherently needing to undermine their authority ( another post) .

Parties, running over sicknesses, projects,etc ESPECIALLY IN THE EXAMPLES ELLE USED which all of you ignored weren't some choice thing or a sad fact.

but scraped knees abandoned children less important than white ladies intent

Because childrearing this job doesn't not involve overtime and care and long term in equity or tales of women left leaving their kids because

she has been explicitly told to overstay or wait because " I Don't want to leave my children alone or with someone else" ( notice the denial of her personhood or her SEPARATION FROM HER EMPLOYER)

while I am bouncing PBB asking for his nana.

Because her children are more important than him?

NOPE cause her whiteness and her class are

My mother was often asked INFRONT OF ME to be other children's nanny at my private school because it was assumed the task of raising me had been done enough. Does the scenario of a stay at home propositioning another stay at home mom of same race and similar class pop into your head because her kids were "raised enough"

oh yeah that doesn't happen.

but please drown in more hypothetical while ignoring how elle elle's niece elles family and EVERYTHING ELLE WROTE so you can find the magic balm for how not to be racist

and ginmar

ahh ginmar

I'm going to speak like you for a bit

Fuck off.

Actually fuck off and fuck your wack ass shit. It's nice that you find a great strum and drang in "letting men of the hook" and disappearing men

but your so intent on protecting "women" ( not elle's niece or even elle who you can't mention by name)

that you completely ignore the article to complain about generic women and their husbands.

so way to disappear the entire post to save any kind of responsibility!


I get angry about this shit. I get hot and I get pissed because this ish right here is the example of so much of what is wrong , instead of analyzing and listening and working to effectively mobilize and de stigmatize places where they do have power you get to read page and comment of BULLSHIT of people trying to shift t blame about how it's cause they don't have enough power

as if we are to believe MORE will make them rescind this assinine self serving behavior.

OR maybe it's cause I get cranky as hell watching my mother talk about all the time she never got to enjoy being my mom in public having to fight this off

of the money she lost because they would pay enough to get me a sitter but not enough to actually let her be my mother

or it's because I love a little child who can't get all the things these women think are so essential to their own children because the idea of having to negotiate a live that DIDN'T EXPLOIT the women who provide it isn't something allowed on the table.