Letter to My Children : All Of Them

Dear Children,

I saw you on the train today my love and you don't know who I am. You were

FIERCE

loud as all hell and ghetto to boot, but you are FIERCE

you were beautiful girl all 6ft of you ,

and you were you.

You had decided to be you and you were make upped and finger tipped

and still had that bass when you had to

let

em

know.

I saw you at my job today , you were baggy pantsed and deep in thought and a lil shy about asking.

and you tucked your girlfriends

hair behind her ear with the utmost of tenderness

I saw you rapid fire spanish , and machismo , bright brown eyes

mumbling faggot under your breath and looking at your best friend with so much pain my heart broke somewhere I can't ever put it back together again.

I see you every day and wonder why aren't you in school. Your skin with a layer of too much white on that beautiful brown. Your eyes focused to much on a screen taht convinces you to wear a thin parka in 10 degree weather but your sneakers are appropriately fresh.

You hair is a blue and mohawked

And you die in front of my eyes every day little.

and I count off the days as I realize they will tell you it's your fault , even as the FAS is written on your face in

3

2

1


I saw you on the news today

how good did you feel just making it into NOLA to see your fam.

How good did that air smell.

Did you bound up the steps excited beyond all measure that you hadn't dissappointed your daddy?

Your beautiful girl was with you, and your baby boy.

I say your name with Oscar's and I wonder does anyone miss YOU and nnot teh dreams your killing killed.

I see your pictures and am so sad .

I wonder does anyone think of you.

Of the songs you would have song the loves you could have had.

If one day you could have seen a time when you weren't expendable.

IF you weren't jsut the thing peopel told peopel about to prove how much some man 44 was or was not doing.

I wonder would you have liked caramel.

It is odd.

I wonder if you could meet your sisters and brothers and do tehy even know of you

do they know

do you know

do you knwo

how much I love you

do you knwo how much someone loves you

hwo many someones love you

and why loving you hurts so much

and not because you did anything wrong but beacause loving you isn't enough

to keep you safe