Jesus take the wheel ...............

So i can grab a shot gun

You ever see a cover and go oh shit .

Like you stop in the street and BOGGLE!

Like sweet honey in the mountain this stuff just will not end well.

HERE IT IS ! HERE IT IS !

I just.

Must we go through this AGAIN?

The sexism and misogyny I can't even.

I am always aghast by how many ways people seem to be aghast and a shocked at people finding black women attractive.

Lets of course find the both condescending and often mentioned habit of comparing the women in the article to the "standard"

Even as the magazine ( in all its rampant misogyny) MAINTAINS THAT THEY AREN'T LOOKING FOR THE SAME THING but hey shouldn't any standard be always and forever compared to white women ahmen.

Gasp as he makes sure time and time again mention the slovenlyiness Of Buffie the Body who only eats JUNK FOOD!

Marvel at his making sure that his staus as a white man is why he doesn't get her allure. Ponder as he backhandedly pathologizes everyone who does like her by chalking it up to hardwiring

Amaze at his passing reference to Venus Hottentot. IT WAS ONE WOMAN YOU ASS HOLE.

Because people finding black women attractive and using that MONETARILY and them being under compensated.

THAT"S SO RARE IT'S NEWS

Did you know non blacks like Black women and will pay for it!

Did you know that even WHITE BOYS GOT TO SHOUT

BE staggered as black women are positioned as sexually viable and profitable while confirmed in their grotesqueries.

And be kind and donate to the bail fund when i meet this some of a gum in the streets

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also AMC AMC I wann go to AMC

and so do these wonderful people

Fabulosa Mujer
Hermana Resist (donations can be made through her pay pal email: csdistro@gmail.com
Please Professor Black Woman
Black Amazon(me)
The Primary Contradiction

Wonderful BFP also wants to go to the US Social forum

Please also not that my thank you letters go out tomorrow I have been so remiss and I apologize!




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also I spend an inordinate amount of time talking about stuff I Don't like

so now I get to talk about something/someone I love

THIS MAN RIGHT HERE

MAN UP JUNE 1, 2 @ 9:30PM JUNE 3 @ 2:30PM Written and Performed by Carlos Andrés Gómez Directed by Tamilla Woodard Running time: 60 minutes

Man Up is one man’s journey of discovery toward finding out what it is to be a man in a world where “masculinity” is often confined by the narrowest of definitions. Who are you told to be as a “straight man of color”? What is not allowed or accepted by society? What questions are we not allowed asking, even within ourselves? Pushing up against the boundaries of who he thinks he is, Carlos Andrés Gómez takes the audience on a gritty, raw, and, often, hilarious trip through his sexuality, cultural identity, family relations, and deepest fears and dreams, ultimately to find out who he is.

I am gonna be there not sure when . But he is the real deal. You want to go. You want to make sure there are no tickets left. Cause he's kind of awesome.

and just for a preview



Read more!

Entowerment Part 2

Wow I didn't know people had such feelings on it?

Here's what I would like to personally restate clarify while everyone hs a blast

1) My hbasic point that I hope I'm expressing well is that as a young women i am very very concerned about the term empowerment in the way it is often used. Specifically to women of my shared privileges .

Essentially I feel that regardles sof other theories and work that simply enjoying our selves is key to world change.

That message isn't being filtered down or spread but staying concentrated amongst these young women.

I used pole dancing as it was a personal example that crops up and wa s prevalent on my own campus .

Where in poledancing is something nt be challenged or cool when it happened at SMOKES among poloed frat boys, powerful and awesome at ye olde queer gatheringa the GLBT house, and trashy blah blah blah at Wizzards on 40th.

My contention is that there is something very very wrong and Undiscussed about how we view women of a certain class who we PERCEIVE as the only ones doing sex work that allows the activity to move up scale .

BUT REQUIRES women who do it to constantly qualify themselves as not THAT kind of person.

2) wanting to be known as who you are is both right and noble.

3) Having to HAVE to do that to get basic human courtesy and respect cause you do sex work, is horrid and far to often unmentioned in debates

4) One does not have to mean harm to do harm.

5) Deoridhe wins for this one :

One can be sexually liberated without taking cultural markers from other cultures. If the only reason one is interested in another culture is because one can "let your hair down," or "be more natural" or "be sexually liberated" by acting like them then, quite frankly, one is colonializing that culture. One is not interested in that culture from an authentic, curious, respectful stance but from a "what can I get out of that culture" stance, which is a colonial attitude and is, at it's most basic, racist; it is making culture a commodity for sale. If one has to leave one's own culture and racial identity in order to feel sexual, natural, or relaxed - something's wrong with one's culture. Projecting the bits of one's personality that one can't experience within one's culture doesn't free one in any major way, it just objectifies an entire other culture as "not us".

So when someone goes oh for fucks sake at you tantra/grinding/latin dance/belly dance etc etc there is a GOOD chance it's not about your sexuality and about THEIR desire for respect of the culture. IE SEE NUMBER 4

6) Trinity also wins for this:

What I think is that we've got two different concepts:

1) something that makes a person more sure of her own personal power (for example, a survivor who has internalized the idea that her sexuality belongs to those who hurt her discovering she can choose consensual sexual experiences)

and

2) a political gain for a group (for example, women having been empowered by getting the right to vote, the right to choose, etc.)

Which is what we mean when any one goes trinity[1] or trinity [2] or 1 or 2.

7) While I used the example of sex work this phenomenon of empowerment can be extended out ward to other things. Also as someone who is very much for the GROWN FOLKS GROWN BUSINESS MODEL, we will not be taking anyone to task for the choice of activities or employment if it involves sex work. THat's a discussion everyone else is having ad nauseum

8) I don't mind fights or disagreements but I know it's shocking I prefer the call out method. Call folks out and by that I mean be specific , be direct and honest. I know i stepped in it when Ithought out loud but please please don't tell other folks what they were saying or meant. Ask , doesn't even have to be nicely but actually ask. Also for real as courtesy READ WHAT THEY SAY!

9) When Katie and I say we are talking about rhetoric given to woemn we know we are actually refrencing not just society but thoughts in radical circles. To teh point that we had problems finding places to comfortably do [2}

10) My nex t post willbe about why the Village Voice may need to look for me in back allies


Thank you so much for sharing your minds with me it is an honor.

edited to note that Deoridhe wins for that quote but Octagalore is still a winner

Read more!

A couple things

If you sent me email of any kind please resend . Please I'm swamped and cant find ANYTHING

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

BFP, Kai and Nezua have some amazing stuff up that I'm trying to catch up on

BUt This caught my eye


And by caught I mean made it twitch unbearably

So if you are black,female and queer you can't even defend your self?

I just at this point feel like , if you gone be a victim or a defendant be a defendant.

Because maybe jsut maybe if harassers worry about their lives for bodily harming you .

MAYBE someone will dial up the idea that we should be safe in the streets

RIP Sakia Gunn
Read more!

Entowerment- free think post

I love my wifey.

Belle has met her, she is fabulous. Both the wifey and Belle.

But I love my wifey because she says things like

" The world she has an axis and she will continue to spin on it"

We were into a conversation of " young women" and our " issues" and our "activism".

And as young women we came to a consensus.

We have a huge problem here, and it's not getting better.

As a generation we are constantly told how coddled and entitled we are and how we expect everything, except it is something that only applies to some of us.

A lot of the activism we are taught and the " personal is political" we are fed does not resonate with either of us in any way. And that's comically bad

You see I have said this before but I have to at this juncture emphasize how DIFFERENT me and the wifey kins are in terms of where were placed on the socio economic straits.

Wifey is a WASP . She is related to John Wilkes Booth AND SIR FRANCIS DRAKE . She white . She really really white. Country club white , got mofos in her family names Bink white. Private school ivy league knows what the fuck nantucket red is white.

As young women of privilege ( yes I know it's hard to believe but My ass was in private school since the 7th grade I am of privileged and I know it) we were told constantly over and over we could have it all.

Because of our privilege

Not only that but because of our privilege EVERYTHING WE DID MATTERED and could change the world.

This shit is annoying us both to this day.

We are the generation that is constantly considered as the vangaurd for empowerment. How could we be empowered to reach the doors our fore mothers opened for us.

Sadly empowered seems to be slipping really into entitled.

And by slipping i mean walking arm and arm.

Because a lot of these empowerment discussions hinged on a certain amount of privilege, that is then subsumed .

Only a few of us are actually " empowered"

and frankly me and the wifey are not sure that's a bad thing.

In one of my posts I used the phrase " fuck like entitled white men" and didn't explain it. It's a grenade bomb that I actually stand by but I do want to explain it.

In short a lot of my experience on a reasonably open campus about being empowered in my sexuality has not been in enabling me to be upfront in my own desires , but entirely focusing on attaining the PERCEIVED lack of social and emotional repercussions of the "guys".

WE WERE EMPOWERED!

Suddenly every damn thing we did was a STATEMENT. NO ONE CAN TELL US ANYTHING! LEAVE YOUR JUDGMENT OFF MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!

Mind you many of our empowering activities , involved elaborate costuming ( racial or sexual) , built in excuses( I WAS SO DRUNK!), and was measured ONLY in terms of whether we were neck in neck with the guys.

or

holier than thou protesting, pseudo misandry, coopting whatever culture of the day sensuality.

Empowerment was now a competition .

We were eliminating old standards or shifting paradigms with EVERYFUCKING THING WE DID

The thing that bothered me then and still does now is that to often the empowerment seemed not about self reflection or improvement but about telling other people about how AWESOME your life choice was.

We were and are so busy getting ours and fighting power that no one can tell me what ours is?

Activities in college became transgressive only because they affirmed really cl assist and racist stereotyping.

Date Auctions, hook ups and dirty dancing was special because girls like 'us' only did it under SPECIAL circumstances.

Tantra is amazing because it is so DIFFERENT AND MYSTIC.

For empowered young women we sure nuff needed a whole lot of excuses to do shit that we enjoyed, and way to often the justification was this empowerment that translated

to:

I am such a special and privileged star that my very presence at this activity makes it RADICAL!!!!

It wasn't enough to just like something it HAD To be an event.

When wifey did the Vagina Monologues one of the thing I Was annoying and noticed was that for a celebration of vaginas none of the non traditional ( trans , WOC, foreign ) vaginas had happy stories.

Also that it was the only time that we could get certain women to come out for anything women related ,

For empowered sexual women way to many women were way to amused they got to say Vagina in public not mention the empowerment stopped very cleanly at some people.

part of my confusion has to do with the fact that as a women from a non American household many of this " empowerful" activities and discussions seem strange.

Considering the fact that my " it is wonderful to be a woman " speech came from DAD and my mom handed me a mirror to tell me about my anatomy and proper hygiene.

The empowerment comes not from the activity but the belief that as young women our opinions and enjoyment of it is worthy of being reason enough to do it.

Point blank to much of empowerment seems not about making women prepared and ready to withstand challenges but insulating them in privileges to go out and attain more.

And it's not about the activities.

Octagalore asked me earlier about how women can participate in cultural practices without appropriating.

I thought on this heavily and then read this from Belle.

The thing that amused me was that in the train wreck of a post she linked to someone with a straight face denigrated poledancing talked about belly dancing as an empowering activity cause it got her off.

Thats the empowerment trap.

This activity is EMPOWERING cause i like it but this one isn't because I don't.

However I will discuss it only in this vacuous space of entirely how it makes me feel without talking about the entire process of how it becomes acceptable (or not for me to do it).

the only reason pole dancing comes up at all is because it is available to a certain sect of women.

The only reason belly dancing is empowering is because it becomes this a cultural articfact about how certain women feel today.

Any one going ' you know what no" is not just questioning an activity but either stopping a woman's empowerment or de-empowering ( whatever side you fall on) the entire movement.

It is blasphemous to point out that if all you have to worry about is SOMEONE ELSE'S poledancing you win at life.

I guess I also disagree with Ren and Amber here because I don't find poledancing empowering at all. ESPECIALLY because of challenging the stereotype of a pole dancer. What disturbs me is that people seem to feel okay about challenging the decisions of grown ass folk AT ALL because of their job. IF it's something that she enjoys or needs to do why isn't that enough? That the fact that we have to empower it at all is indicative of a whole set of issues that may have little to nothing to do with sex or the actual pole., and that until we crack those instead of busting the isms we just make a whole bunch of special categories where in it might be okay?

OR that if you are timid about saying vagina without a cheering section that might be your own damn issue and not the great feminist concern of the day. And if we do make it an issue you might have to come up off the kid glove treatement and talk about the ways you make it hard for peopel who are comfortable to be made UNCOMFORTABLE( hot latinslut/trashy whore language anyone)

OR that you know what you got a problem with something you might have to stop hiding behind you special snowflakeness and open your fucking mouth and talk like an adult, instead of whinging about your feelings or how hard it is for you to talk up . Yes you may have to actually man up and speak out specifically ( me hating my job right now NOOOOOOOOOOOO)

I guess my blathering is me thinking out loud because all I think it has done is make a place where a woman's opinion has to be EVERY woman's opinion to have any weight.

And I don't understand how that is not just like saying a woman's opinion isn't worth anything at all.

I don't know Discuss help me flesh this out

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Also AMC AMC I wann go to AMC

and so do these wonderful people

Fabulosa Mujer
Hermana Resist (donations can be made through her pay pal email: csdistro@gmail.com
Please Professor Black Woman
Black Amazon(me)
The Primary Contradiction

Wonderful BFP also wants to go to the US Social forum

Please also not that my thank you letters go out tomorrow I have been so remiss and I apologize!




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also I spend an inordinate amount of time talking about stuff I Don't like

so now I get to talk about something/someone I love

THIS MAN RIGHT HERE

MAN UP JUNE 1, 2 @ 9:30PM JUNE 3 @ 2:30PM Written and Performed by Carlos Andrés Gómez Directed by Tamilla Woodard Running time: 60 minutes

Man Up is one man’s journey of discovery toward finding out what it is to be a man in a world where “masculinity” is often confined by the narrowest of definitions. Who are you told to be as a “straight man of color”? What is not allowed or accepted by society? What questions are we not allowed asking, even within ourselves? Pushing up against the boundaries of who he thinks he is, Carlos Andrés Gómez takes the audience on a gritty, raw, and, often, hilarious trip through his sexuality, cultural identity, family relations, and deepest fears and dreams, ultimately to find out who he is.

I am gonna be there not sure when . But he is the real deal. You want to go. You want to make sure there are no tickets left. Cause he's kind of awesome.

and just for a preview



Read more!

Random Thought of the Day

What about being natural makes folks think that they can do a running commentary on my looks.

Does the choice of no relaxer indicate in come way I want to be analyzed more than a crime scene on CSI?
Read more!

*peeks* *waves*

First off WOW um

WOW.

To inspire love like this or this is truly humbling.

I am overwhelmed truly by everyone's concern and care. It truly is amazing to see. Also To everyone whose new. I wish i could have met through cheerier things like puppies or my love of cookies.

I truly thought I had been writing into the ether. I don't link a lot or necessarily list my site when I go a wandering so to see the lurkers. Thank you again so much ( and that explains that stat count) .

Also what has struck me most about but the public and private comments is the fact that I am not alone in feeling like this at times.

In so much as that there is a deep yearning for community but a deep sense of

" and how do we do that"

We talk. We talk honestly and we do our best.

It will fail , and if we're doing it right it will fail OFTEN.

But we do it , just to do it. Expect nothing but the possibility of the magic of what happens when you do it.

Mind , as a Guyanese , talk often means : SCREAM, SING, THREATEN , JOKE , CURSE,CURSE SOMEMORE, PRAY,SCREAM , CURSE ,SEDUCE, AND ICE GLARE.

We have to be specific , honest , and considerate of each other. WE HAVE TO.

There are enough in the world who won't.

We have to try and see from each others shoes and be able to see who we are and how that affects what we do and say.

To be kind is not enough, to be " right" isn't the same as being " in the right".

We may not like each other when it ends but we will have learned.

Community is how we make things work, how we can stop that nagging feeling of being fearful of speaking because we are fearful of ourselves.

Thank you Thank you so much

And shameless plug if you can, and wnat to help me gain skills to help build this community.

Please donate so i can go to AMC.

PLEASE!!!!!!!

So many thank yous
Read more!

I'd like to thank the academe

So it finally happened .

I finally just burst into tears.
I get it , it is perfectly understood to me where I stand, and I will never make that mistake again.

I mean there is nothing silencing in being quoted while at the same time not being read. There is nothing at all discouraging about being repeatedly called an attention whore in so many words.

Meanwhile refusing to link your own blog to your name on larger blogs for the express purpose of not wanting anyone to focus on anything but the words your typing.

I would like to thank the feminist blogosphere which seems so involved in wanting to bring young women to feminism for making me weep.

Essentially because I had the NERVE to express an opinion.

I mean there really is a limit to how much one person can take.

It's not like I might have my own feelings or emotions connected to MY WORDS as often times as I was asked to consider the work of others.

It would not hurt me at all to see your work and your intentions degraded after at least extending the intellectual courtesy of being sure to give something the benefit of a full reading( or 2 or 3) even if it actively hurt you

And being told that because you gave it that courtesy , no body bothered to give your words the fucking time of day.

It is not at all bewildering as a young person to be accused of all kinds of class and intellectual snobbery for protesting linguistic choices as how it influences their appreciation of material.

But it is not at all appropriate for you to use that same language when you are in so many words being construed as petty jealous and traitorous.

There is nothing at all devaluing in being told you must be inherently worse than someone else to disagree with them.

OR that just by virtue of who you are your opinion is worth less, no matter how much time you've expended trying to be fair.

And after all that the backhanded " compliments" the effort, the self control, the screaming pointed invective, followed by vague apologies . You get to be told

" Well she was busy"

And the Grand solution everyone wants is that you should spend MORE of your

Non important, worthless, whiney , to stupid to know who the real enemies are time.

Because surely you have OOODLES of it to make other people feel better about letting you be treated like shit in the past.

Surely you want to dedicate MORE time to people who can't be bothered to read you while calling you a jealous , who take every opportunity to inform each other of how little you matter unless it's helping them .

I mean it's not all soul crushing and flabbergasting to see more time dedicated to this weeks stupid fashion trend than the literal ripping of babies form their mothers breasts or your people getting dumped into

Or that they'd expend more time storming someone who calls them " special interest groups" than keeping people who shed light in the dark corners of the world.

I mean definitely as much time dedicated to that as possible

It's not at all supremely heartbreaking to see that if you manage to carve any little bit of safe space for your self to be even remotely honest about how you feel , you can be called traitorous and evil and lower tier

And make not sure you can ever use those spaces again, I mean you having any safe space besides the one your designated

I mean you couldn't possible value these things at all, so why would anybody ask. And feeling do you even have them.

And if you defend them at all please be prepared to absorb everyone else's psychic bullshit about how their not a bad person and how you should absolve them of their guilt

And god forbid you stupid worthless ugly self gets any support, anybody who would dare support you fiercely will get called everything but a child of God and their actual name for the sake of community building. be cause anyone who doesn't participate will seem a- ok with it happening

Because you should be happy their doing their best ( and never forget the underlying current that you should be GLAD this is the best you're ever gonna do)

And why don't you just quit if you're so un happy like there are numerous places in your life full of way to many underhanded hostile privileged people you will get to commune with common souls, I need to get rid of that because

the twenty people who assure me I am not completely insane matter less than the hundreds of cheerleaders elsewhere

or t suddenly hundreds of people marveling at you like some odd piece of exotic sculpture but don't speak ( though truly thank you for those who do)

I mean you haven't been through jailed fathers, hunger, poverty, isolation, objects being pelted at you, government mandated destruction of your home life, body hate, racism, violence, near death.

You haven't kept that to yourself to be fair and attentive or keep things reasonably even keeled.

Anyone you try to deal with will shunt you off to someone else.

Cause your pain and hurt is not their responsibility

But theirs is everyones

And there is no way I am sobbing myself red and sick in front of a computer reliving every horrible moment or missed need or feat of superhuman strength or complete and utter feeling of lostness and unmooring you have felt in your 22 years

Because you were stupid enough to be born black female foreign and vocal. And the complete idiocy of preferring your own

Because you wanted more Moraga less masturbation. Possibly more hope less hate. And could not get behind mocking " good christian girls "" because whether you are one now it may have been the only thing keeping you from slitting you wrists

And while all of this is happening people want to remind you again that this is about the young women

Who can't care less

Who can't do less

But have a couple more dollars to spend.

And to see the absoluter fury and rage and pain and active leaving of your foremothers footnoted or merely theorized

THE ONLY THINGS BESIDES GOD HIM/HER/IT SELF that kept you from cracking. Why the fuck should you be protective

But why the fuck should you matter " MY POC/YOUNG WOMEN LIKED IT"

Who cares what you actually said.

And while this is happening no one even has the care to ask how you are unless they can get something from it

or the decency to actually say your name
Read more!

THE HOLY HELL

I just I just

IS FOLKS INSANE!
Read more!

Bridge Na Build.

Comments are now open - my apologies
Ya want to build ya lay ya bricks. No matta wha else. Ya lay ya bricks . Ya can talk anyting feel any way, have all kind of excuses , but if ya na have ya bricks lay, bridge na build.- Mommy Blackamzon

I do what I have to do , how mi feel na change what have ta be done- Daddy Blackamazon.

So I helped Feministe go boom.

And I made all of four posts maybe five there.

And I see apologies are being given and I sit back and think about what I want because, frankly in Jill's apologies I STILL think they miss the damn point .

I mean for me one thing that was accomplished was that it has exposed just how little regard or close attention is paid to what certain women say. It also added one more site to places I don't feel comfortable commenting on. That even the moderators realize is something amiss only after I feel like I got my teeth kicked in .

I will address the points Jill makes here and subsequent points made in comments. But only here because if you actually want to work , people will do some work. I also will As calmly as I can manage right now address some things that have been highlighted on other blogs namely Feministing with no damn context, that maligns I think the character of some truly excellent women.

Also please realize when I talk like this , it is only because somewhere else I am cursing and flapping and waving and generally flipping out in a SAFE SPACE like one has ever seen. Kathleen Battle is looking like the Dalai Lama right about now. I would like to take this moment to thank the WOC support as well as the off blog interaction I have had with so many people that allows me to conduct this in a cordial matter that does not result in calling people " everything but a child of God". While that is true, on the other hand since people seem to be aiming to get their feelings hurt at the expense of me and mine solely to prop up them and theirs , they might get EXACTLY what they're looking for.

While addressing Jill's points and original post I will do my best to respond to the numbered points she raises. Please have Jill's points wither in your head or open for this as I will not be cutting it chunk by chunk , I will however link to specific comments .

1) In that review Jill made little differentiation between who and what was being responded to. So much so that when PetitPoussin pointed out in comments that she was included among Jill's defense of Jessica's un called for attackers, even though she had written a THREE PART SERIES that ended in a satire of the cover, Jill response is "The entire post was not about you" except how are we to know? Petit's valid criticism was untouched for a satirical cover , Criticisms I made where summarized unlinked and capped off with " I doubt they've read the book. No very well they could not be about me but since that was my clarion problem with it which I have expressed IN THE LAST FOUR ENTRIES and one of Sylvia's posts was essentially a link to me PP, and Feminist Review. When it is brought up that there were at LEAST three people who had done substanive So instead of taking the time to read and differentiate a whole lot of us are now lumped in willy nilly, and cast in an ENTIRELY unflattering light without being at all engaged. Essentially any criticism connected to the post is evil WHETHER JILL INTENDED THIS TO BE THAT WAY OR NOT. She admits as much.

2)Jill read the book and felt it was adequate. I read the book and was heart broken and furious because I HONESTLY expected better. I critiqued the way , the amount, provided quotes and said it felt like being tokenized and ignored. In the original post Jill says this:

Jessica is also criticized for ignoring issues of non-white, non-middle-class women — and when I read those criticisms, I have to wonder if the commenters have read the book.[...]She does more than pay them lip service — she makes an obvious effort to include a variety of issues and voices in her book.

So yes Jill did essentially question our reading ability and therefore integrity of argument. YEs Jill apologized but because once again her post was vague, how am I supposed to know I am not included, especially when it is the VERY CONCERN I voiced. Then in comments she says she thinks they're substantive , but they were missed as she looked for the bad ones, as she was otherwise occupied. Which as a WOC how that sounds has been talked about over and over and I even talk about here. Once again by lacking specificity in the first post and not being specific in the second, it is left confusing . And that ambiguity after the original invective isn't comforting.

3) Once again by whom? And I mean that without any malice. It's unspecific and once again makes anybody who mentions these problems as WITH THE BOOK as using it as a totem. Except I have said and believe that WITHIN THE BOOK those things exist as much with execution as with quantity. Also it is entirely possible for the book to contribute to these things without any intent. So how and what should we be talking about to examining these things as it is left unclear.

4) Yes there is a way, it has been said. Yes she made an effort I felt ( and it seems verily I am not alone) she missed it by a mile. Once again what is it's characterization , what are the things be expressed as unfair. I am in the target audience ( which as I pointed out below KEEPS MOVING) as it was expressed. I have many people and friends across many classes, stations and I frankly didn't feel it appropriate for any of em. I didn't critique the book as a microcosm of these issues although I DO think it is, not an assumption. Can we actually talk bout that or is that just off the table?

5) Yeah , pretty much I agree but once again specifics need because at some point it was assumed I wanted a book deal when frankly I had never exposed such an interest. I fully admit to being an attention lover ( I'm an actor and a teacher and I write a blog and a LEO). However this automatic turn to jealousy indicates that there are things that we are assumed to be jealous of. Which is frankly suspect in a whole set of ways.

6) I addressed this below , but yeah. Especially since you don't acknowledge the substantive critiques in the original review or until 100 comments in , by circumstance or design.

7) Which empowerful comments? Cause i think those are a low blow but since i have no idea what she is addressing I will just state that yeah that's juvenile. HOWEVER within the book, prudery, " Good Christian Girls" and various others who were talked about in order to bolster the argument. Which was not only unnecessary but I felt detracting from making young women feel comfortable especially concerning the later messages throughout. Something that is exacerbated by comments made about what both Jill and Jessica feel young women will and won't read. At this point I'd really have to go into chapter and verse and since no one else is and I will have spent more time on some of my own final papers, I'll stop here.

8) This is the one that makes me throw up my hands and go " FOR REAL ". One because I don't think anybody with even a modicum a modicum of sense has declared her the enemy. Two because it brings up once again this mysterious chasm across people about intent. Intent doesn't matter if you still get hurt. It's a lovely thing to know but if we are hurt we're hurt. Plus a theoretical argument can be made that she did focus on her own bran of feminist theory which Donna,Sylvia and PP made and frankly so have I. Also I am very uncomfortable (and by that I mean almost at " Who do you mean by you pale face"TM Donna ) with saying she's not your enemy because frankly, after about 200 years , 1,000 years, 40, 33, 22, or whatever years women have been dealing with their lives, they are fully capable of deciding who their own enemies are. If people feel ( and they do) that CONSISTENTLY the actions of someone are harmful , it really won't concern them with that person intent. If I am in a karate class and I know that the person next to me is catching me with his roundhouse every time , I don't care if he means to or not I am going to adjust for it.


Part of that adjusment for me and from what I am reading and being contacted with, is that MANY WOC feel that way about the blogosphere entire and "major" feminist blogs entire, The adjustments have been to leave, if not blogging entirely. And their response has been to stop engaging and stop linking.

What spectacularly galled me is that in terms of the troika ( ME PP SYLVIA AL I AM SPEAKING FOR , and other WOC.) our discussion was kept in OUR spaces. We didn't proselytize , we didn't find positive reviews and mock them. We wrote what we felt amongst each other.

Why because we did not after a series of incidents a whole slew of em not jsut one. Felt that these were not safe spaces .

As connected to the book what came up was the treatment of Nubian.

Just so you know what is upcoming is the point where people might get their feelings hurt , not by design but because I'm sick of this shit. So if you would prefer someone who is not about breathe fire across the screen and also because you should anyway

Please read this post by BFP( on Donna's)

First and foremost, no one on the FFU thread calls Jessica a liar.

AT ALL. I did a text search of it JUST TO BE SURE.

She is the first person to bring it up . When I tried to wade and explain why i was confused by her use of Cm's post to not engage Nubians critique she spoke of the comment still stands and it hurts her. So I went to HER BLOG and looked up the comments on HER BLOG and lo and behold they are still there, she conveys to me she banned the commentator. Well we all in some way have conveyed our displeasure with her but the comments on you site stand but ours need to be expunged to get you to participate?

So no Jill no one calls Jessica a liar. We are trying to understand and she uses it to once again remove herself from a conversation. Yes she's human so are we but if this is what happens when we simply try and confront why we are so unhappy , why on earth are we expected to continually give the benefit of the doubt?

Not to mention as Donna mentions, solutions that did not alienate or even severely chastize ANYONE .

Especially since consider our experiences in these threads we had all opted out before and for some reason TRIED to be participants, even though for real most of us have sworn off these sites.

We did extend ourselves AGAIN. And yes Jessica has feelings but so do we , and it is getting entirely aggravating and bordering on offensive to hear about certain feelings . Why is intent something that mitigates for her but when we simply intend to get to the bottom of things we must be careful. No one calls her dishonest but we do note the fact that MULTIPLE TIMES Nubian tries to engage she is subjected to harmful language

Not to mention it is really annoying to me that Nubian is being chiefly characterized as the girl who site this happened on , because she was so offended and hurt and mis characterized BY WHITE FEMINISTS. She's an amazing intellectual who will no longer be sharing with us as a DIRECT result of things that happened under the watch if not straight up by the hand of white women ON THIS SITE so just one thread is fucking horseshit to me right now.

( Dear Nubian and delux . You asked why we bothered at this point I really don't know. I am young and stupid )

And she's not alone. Me Bint BFP Donna Sylvia and others many who aren't WOC don't blogroll ofr follow these sites anymore for OUR mental health. Smae way freerepublic and littlegreenfootballs ain't never ever gonna see me. And yes its harsh to hear but your sites can be as damaging for us emotionally as those and if you'd liek to find out why fine but I'm pretty done with trying to assauge your consciences.

And yes we realize you say you are trying to change but at this point enough has happened that

1) people may have and have been turned of permanently
2) it may not be enough
3) IT DOES NOT CHANGE HOW FUCKING DEVASTATED WE FELT WHEN IT HAPPENED ORIGINALLY

SO please this Samhita is bullshit It's not just that one thread and it's not like this hadn't happened LONG BEFORE THIS. The fact that you are only now finding out about it, has to do with the fact that for the most part .

WE LEFT TO OUR SPACES for the express purpose of not having to deal with it anymore. Even then we were specific about what we felt or we just left you out of it entirely.

So this Right here not only truly hurt and disappointed me but truly made me think you were out your left and right mind.

Because you can not be fucking serious with this shit right here and call it working towards ANYTHING.

This is bushleague point blank. It's actively upsetting to me and hurts my fucking stomach because I'm so very glad for you you can get so many people to applaud you and go fuck the haters WITHOUT EVEN INDICATING WHO TEH HATERS ARE.

I really dont fucking appreciate the nod to look at who is saying what without you know linking to these comments because now ONCE A FUCKING GAIN now ANYBODY Who talks derogatorily is mean and evil and petty.

THANKS APPRECIATE IT!

Who the fuck are these some blogs?

I mean really cause when you used the statement before it was here at Sylvia's.

Read that read ALL OF THAT!

Because we speak on why we're not there

We have come to your aid.

and if one more motherfucker says their busy in hopes of excusing themselves from literal nonengagement AT ALL ..

It's disrespectful it implies we must have time blah blah . We make choices. You made choices about how you alot your time . So do we , It seems engaging us substantively is not a top priority.

THAT'S FINE and we've taken subsequent cues from it so please don't act as if we pulled this out just to attack you. We actually might have you know

PRIORITIZED OURSELVES they same way you would you and yours.Because what's interesting is that your pain is used to derail Sylvia expressing her self , even her shaking and crying to talk about you're feelings is a ok but you won't even have the decency to link to it, unless this isn't what you're talking about?

(Also Amanda since that post contains no context your response contains no context . Don't you fucking dare we say we're trying to win shit. Not everything is about you Burqagate or even being right. We have been amongst ourselves and even when we're rejected and marginalized reaching out to others. If that and asking for reciprocity is what you think is winning then you need to handle that . But casting stones and mildly veiled generalizations . No sorry.)

Also rock and hard place damned if we do or don't. No . You didn't for a while people left and with good reasons and NOW you're listening even though that listening seems to be staying in friends spaces and asking to only be communicated with in terms you like. So the reach out there is feeling really great.

And i'm glad you are hoping that people WHO HAVE EXPRESSED FEELING UNSAFE will come to that post and read those comments and feel better.

Not to mention no we haven't spent loads of time talking about why we don't go to feministing pandagon etc or the like until now. If you believe that your analysis is always inter sectional thats great. Good on you.

We have felt it's inadequate and you know what we didn't slam your site , we didn't slam anything but ACTIONS. Jessica could walk up and punch me in the mouth and I probaly couldn't pick he rout of a police line up.

We're not supposed to go to ur safe spaces and discuss what makes them safe and why others aren't because of the hard work you put into it, like I do this writing on the fly? I don't care about a fucking book deal and next person who brings it up might honestly get their throat ripped out. This is important to me just like it is to you and if your not going to be specific while use language you use towards my friends I'm going to do what you do and guess you're addressing them and act accordingly .

And never once does ANYBODY critiquing the comments policy issue the foolywang statement that they conflate the posters with the comments or commentors .

WHo feel entirely comfortable speculating on attractiveness in that thread and all manner of bullshit in the environment you have fostered Knowingly or not.

And speaking of commentators.

Tom Head. He's a friend of the blog or whatever.
Please come get this motherfucker before I do. I do not care how much he's upported you at this point. He has sprayed his male white privilege bullshit all over Nubians thread as if agreeing with her should have earned him a cookie. He equates antiracism with antifeminism?!?! He insinuates people run around everyone racist and then calls it cheap. HE questions our integrity generally and his whiny bullshit sending people to Donna's to basically whine and shame her. IT's OKAY HOW?!?

That's fucking high handed liberal minded ashattery as it's best and if he is a friend I'm sure he won't blanche at being told to back the fuck down except when Nubian did it he lost his goddamn mind.

And I'm supposed to FEEL SAFE?!?

THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS I HOLD THEM IN THE SAME REGARD YOU DO YOURS

Finally I'm glad everything is done under that "theory". We're not talking about your theories,we're honestly no shit talking about our own feelings of safety and whether our concerns will be brought up fairly. The way the Priscilla Huang thread went was to me as an immigrant who had her fucking door kicked in a good clue that I could not in anyway feel safe discussing those issues, there .

And it's NOT ABOUT YOU IT'S ABOUT US.

It's about that when we went and we'll be over here the people most likely to chastize obfuscate and try and infringe on us without even considering how we feel are WOMEN.

I'm glad you hope to make changes NOW. However when that is supposed to retroactively assauge the hurt of everything else thats just not fair.


I am 22 years old . i I have been called every name under the sun. I have been linked by zealots and racists . I have been mocked and ridiculed for learning disabilities. I have been erased,discounted infringed upon and

STILL

I have done my level best to engage people more fairly than they have me because I had the nerve to pay consideration.

And it is amazing to me that because I haven't gone public with my shaking crying fear and complete utter lost ness at this I am expected to shove that down because of someone else's . All because of some magical intent I'm supposed to keep in mind everytime I get kicked in the chest because they did or didn't mean to. i am not some unfeeling shebeast and it gets to me. I would honestly be treated better if I was this age and completely disavowed and disrespected feminism than if I continued ( much to the counteradvice of those older and wiser mentors ) to positively engage it.

My parents we right . If you want it done every excuse and reason and circumstance isn't gonna help, ot because its some evil desire to ignore peoples good intents.

Because unless we lay the bricks

Bridge na build

I am sick and furious at this point ( as if it really mattered ) and everyone who has contacted me and the like . I will get back to you soon .

I just need to lie down.
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Rise with the dawn.....

So I'm nervous and now typing cause it will help me calm down. What calms me is honesty of course. So I shall be honest and suck a suck it let's name some names.

Heartbreaking oh so heartbreaking

I figure I can use the general uptick in my readership to bring attention to the things I feel are actually important.

People it's 8am on a Saturday why have nearly 100 of you already come here? Thank you but only the terminally up and awake should pull that shit, hence me.

The monologues I am doing today are great but I'm nervous I, I haven't prepared as I should but I am now so lumps will come as the come.

One is the " Fuck New York" monologue from the 25th hour.

The other is Hecuba from the Trojan Women. Where she finally goes and sends Aeneas to lay waste to the Greeks , to later make Rome.

If nothing else I can connect to the desire to go " so you want to see my bad side? Let me scorch and salt the earth for ya!"

The book imbruglio has made me develop habits I don't like , like having to monitor sites that generally annoy me , or be measured in my responses when my natural tactic is to go reach for the Vaseline , remove earrings, and take out machetes, while experiencing an above average desire to do so.

Why am I so incapable of letting this GO!

And it's made me sit back and realize why.

For all the blowback I have gotten ( with Sylvia and PP ) while not being named , or being ignored as some nebullous class elitist old biddies , and seeing the goalposts move like Penn jsut won the Championships.

I realize that personally , I am reliving MY class experiences, and my race ones, and resource ones.

My friend SalsaN is a teacher , a magnificent educator in A NE city, in a very diverse lower, to mid lower class neighborhood.I am a part time educator /full time busy body with a newly arrived brood of cousins to take care of from 4-19.

An obscene amount of our conversations are filled with " What the FUCK is going on with our baby girls?"

They're isolated, feel unloved, hate their bodies, are materialistic ( without necessarily liking actual stuff), abused, violated, violent, depressed , and are FIRMLY FIRMLY convinced they deserve it in one shape or another. Their schools teach them shit they don't need and can't use. People write for them and to them in ways that thanks to our really poor and un fleshed out attachment to postmodern irony , encourage them to negate these feelings so they can be hip or hardcore.

What I teach emphasizes returns to basics it is decidedly un cool and unflashy. And everyday kids are down right flabbergasted that they can matter, and struggle and still be encouraged if they aren't COOL. I ask them to teach me , I tell them I need to hear whatever it is to make this work.These kids are shocked they matter, that someone will pay such attention to their thoughts and ACTIVELY engage them to yank them out. SalsaN and I marvel at it everyday.

For me it's often because the kids don't believe I exist for real. I am not "pretty" ( Conventionally attractive) , niether am I cool, nor stylish . I am firmly haphazard and decidedly boho in my hairstyle.Plus more likely than not, I am happily and forcefully hood tastic! I'm them often less than five years in the future and they've never seen " me" ( mom,sister ,autie) with a degree, or an intellectual job, or any of the things they are taught are valuable without that person fitting some predetermined script.

For SalsaN they are often flabbergasted the white lady cares.

They are taught through long hours of regret and neglect and erasure and shame, they don't matter, and our baby girls treat themselves like that.
.
So when SN told me she was worried . I went fuck it , I will go buy some books I will find some books to give these girls.

And this book failed me in ways I felt I had to express, that Sylvia expressed after reading sections, that PP analyzed in a three part series and finally just to blow of steam in a photo. We gave the book the time, before we couldn't anymore . Sylvia and PP have moved on but for me it just STICKS.

When Jill wrote this it was carom shot ( Nezua teaches me fun words for the veiled things white folk do), let the Wide World of "Allied" Assholery Sports commence

and the comments were worse. She linked PP but somehow managed to avoid being specific. Until PP pointed out that she had read and been fair. Then suddenly it wasn'y all about her .

Goalpost move 2 yards!

I was linked with Sylvia with substantive critiques.

Didn't have time . I'm BUSY

It is more important to be loud and generalizing for my friend than at all contemplative. Those critiques can wait .

AKA

WAIT YOUR TURN I'M BUSY! ensuring she never be challenged unless we approve!

Not a priority 3 points!

Here's link served on a platter ? where are these hip hop feminists? DIRECT LINK. SHE WRITES IN CODE

You're not important enough to actually work for . OFFSIDES!

Finally what's stopping you from getting a book ?

Me:They don't give em out and the problems we have with the book are some reasons why. So could you not be a jerk, and while your at it if your going to ignore us please leave it alone and stop trying to characterize us as members of group who were hurting by daring to expres sour hurt.

That's directed at me ,but I wasn't talking about you , and what would you have me talk about?

OOh the , my feelings! I wasn't talking to you, I'm too lazy to do it .
HAT TRICK!!!!!!!!!!!

What sticks is that all of this our critiques happened not on Feministing,not on Feministe , not on Pandagon. We didn't damper the shine. We went to ourselves and we carved out space to be real.

Suddenly we were with all sorts of people we hadn't even HEARD off and when we mentioned that we were told to sit down , they will tell us how we shall be judged, or OOOPS we didn't take care enough to see your actual problem. But don't you dare be mean or have an opinion while others are . Trojan Horse and all that.

Which made me giggle to death . Honestly . Because my class marker was a need for being direct and open. Social graces what are those? We stepped to you and we stepped full . We might beat your ass but shit you knew we was coming!

And I was being called an elitist by people who were doing all the things i learned as upper class. Obfuscating, claiming there time more important than my work, screaming white woman feelings over brown woman critiques.

I became too young AND too old. I became too smart and too stupid. I was too something to expect to be included and too something else to offer my words.

And my ass gave in . I insisted on reading again( YES I went through it again) , I tried, until I realized I was getting got for doing things In my space and the space of friends. I was being cowed for DARING not to give the" friend" treatment to a movement I was being violently wrangled in to no matter how much I said no.

My pain, our pain our hurt ,academic. People being mean to one of their own ACTIVE.

I was essentially being attacked,ignored,marginalized by women for daring to speak my own truth.

And then they post Staceyann Chin with no fucking irony at all.

Because god forbid my I am not a feminist and do not pull me in and here is why and posts and post of writing be extended the respect that " an Awesome poem " would be.

Or even be respectfully left alone and not run over to make sure you still look good in the google search.

Or posts on Pat Benatar as if us merely saying NO and then saying for us we are first and you don't decide. Is malicious fire.

Confirming once again that to open my mouth is to invite destruction by action and inaction.

All these things are not important , will be gotten to someday, when it was important to THEM not to ME.

This didn't happen with the book. This happened after, because we dared carve out some space.
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Just wanted to make sure.

i swore I wasn't gonna comment for like a week but when people act special

So while I'm not commenting on certain threads. I have noticed TWICE that people accusing me of not reading ( and by accusing me referring to me as " people and past jealousies" etc. Etc)

admit to only skimming or not reading at all what I , or PP, or Sylvia have said.

*peoples eyebrow*

I have been called elitist for not appreciating the language and a liar ( THAT'S NOT TRUE) for DIRECT QUOTES which bother me.

Even though I put forth chapter and verse my issues.

And my problems on several spaces with structure, tone, follow through, and such.

I am still accorded less respect than people who toss names around. So patriarchal whore is much more important to address than " I'm young and can't relate" " shes too pretty " is much more important to the dealing with the feminist movement than " As a WOC ... FUCK THIS I'm OUT"

GOTCHA!

Please non adres sour critiques but expect us to make sure everyone is "nice" to her.

And a chapter on intersectionality with one page and a half ( maybe two) each on isms and the examples of those isms often ( TO ME TO ME what part o f this to people not get) so unrelatable or rareified, that I have no real context is an issue.

And the examination of privilege from one piece incidentally written by a white woman. Or one Lourde quote out of context with the general thrust of just exactly how fed up she was with the myopia of white women.

And the she worked hard and didn't actively mean to hurt.

And if it is a primer and the priming is not what we like. And the decisions made to make that primer are suspect on our eyes.

We get to say so.

I find it odd that since most of this occured on blogs between a few people , none of whom are really quoted,or read.

It also is amusing to me that some people find it IMPOSSIBLE AND UNBELIEVABLE., that a primer that only hits certain things and seems weighted towards its mention of young women in certain areas and not others. ( which I have elucidated before and will not again) could be ACTIVELY OFFENSIVE to other people.

Mentions of WOC does not earn you a cookie or a dispensation. Considering the long twisted and heated road that it has been , yes we might expect more.

Yes we might want to be integrated more smoothly and the concerns we have ( and fury we have had) maybe quoted from our lips and not others.

Because they reflect the severity with which we feel them. Ie The Combahee collective instead of Unpacking the Privilege knapsack.

Or the odd occurrence of white women bringing up FREELY examples of WOE UNTO THESE COLORED WOMEN as reasons why there vision of feminism is IMPORTANT. While never seeming to be able to reach that same amount of space for WOC organizing or shit their own thoughts. SO yes quantative may not be qualitative


Or that " it is less academic for the target audience"

Now since the oldest of the evil trio is 24 we are obviously not late teenagers to early to midtwenties.. . Wait yes we are.

No had this not been a " supposed primer" suddenly it's not. Then it is then it ain't.

essica does address women of colour, and lesbians, in her book. Does she do it on every page? No. But why would she? Would you complain that a woman of colour didn’t address the issues of white women of every page of her book, or that a lesbian didn’t address the issues of straight women?

Now this person can go kick rocks. Because god forbid WOC not like the way ( not even necessarily the amount BUT THE WAY) we are included. SHE KNOWS THIS LEAVE HER ALONE.

And the tone problems. People have latched on to QD's class analysis ( which I disagree with) and in response have trotted out the she's not RICH. CLASS EVILLL BLAH BLAH !

at our critiques except I don't think her speech is a class marker. It's not the low class thing and I said pseudo Valley girl and the I'm from Queens defense ( FAR ROCKAWAY /JAMAICA IN THE BUILDING) don't go much for me either. One because as a person who is low class I'm starting to get really offended at the BUT I'm POOR TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO so I can't be elitist or Your critiquing class ELITIST !!! doublespeak.

It's tone I encounter often in real life with people who " write for youth" and it irks. Because intentional or not in print it screams ( TO ME TO ME cause people lose the thread)

" this is what i think you need to make stuff understood" I have an idea in my head of what you sound like because of the times I see you, so this will make it cool and accessible.

As a really really recent teenager and someone who has lots of contactt with the beautiful but annoying dears.

THEY SMELL IT. If they end up with anything it's in spite of the tone not because of it.

Also the liberal usage of prudes, the extraction of the most horrible people as "non feminists" unknowing or knowingly sets up binaries. WITH US OR AGAINST US that are off putting.

" make fun of em for pruddery"

"good christian girl"

People who have this views wanna punish you for sex.

No is it deliberate who knows? But is it off putting.

Ya betcha.

Is it hurtful , to a target audience aged young woman who is conflicted and looking for guidance or some facts.

Ding , does it matter to that girl that she may not have intended it. Or is there anyplace except way letter in a way I'm not sure is that clear , that she can still use these things?

NOPE.

Thus do I feel i could give it to her. Naw HELL.

Also the its a primer and I don''t think they can start on Angela Davis etc etc.

Is a prime example of the kind of condescension by " reaching out". I know what they need , they couldn't tackle the heavy stuff so this is what will bring them in!

SAYS YOU, what basis are we making this claim, furthermore what basis are we making that this is how kids should be reached to, I didn't get that.

I didn't feel comfortable with the use of WOC.

And the history section made me slightly furious.

But this is what the heart of the manner to me is.

"I just wish that a few of her critics had approached the book in a more fair way, and hadn’t gone after her the same way that we’d go after some anti-feminist right-winger."

We are supposed to be nicer to her. There isn't actually supposed to be an examination in terms of how we felt about the material. It's a feminist BE KIND! She's Trying to do the right thing!

The fact that the pain doesn't shift cause it's not intentional. The division doesn't go away and the disrespect of skimming only flows one way,when making a critique?

Finally when I say this ain't me , it is so fucking disrespectful to try and and say but we;'re all in this together. Because I feel we're not and if you want to change that , you come to ME or the person feeling ostracized not by bad analogies and loose terminologies trying very uneffectively to put pleasant faces on your just jealous or wait your turn.

But I don't read

Just wanted to make sure.



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When the World does you a solid

You do one back.

I got to see one of the people in the world I ADORE out of the blue.

FATE

Got to teach babies

always gives me joy.

and

Empanadas!

I wanted to cleanse because I really in back ways and alleyways have spent to much time on a book that has because of my dislike of it had my reading of it questioned, my age damn nie tripled, and constant inserts of but her feelings , or I tried.

In places where I can see it but no one will mention my name . But we believe in feminism Y'all!

So I'm trading one for another, well a couple and some words on pleasure versus joy.

This book

Limbo.

I read an excerpt of this book and damn near stalked this poor man . It was published while I was in Philly. The inquirer damn near had me outside demanding a hug from him.

Cause writing this , he HAD to know me.

His descriptions and honesty is so appealing. His willingness to admit his love for his people warts and all , no apologies. His telling of the response to a protest I was on the other side of was so simple and wonderful. The realization that the things you love and make you may be wrong and not wrong and ignorant at the same time. The both envy and just often straight up disgust at the " upper class". Because a lot of my bonding experience in college with my other lower class friends was amazement and

Joy . I loved his Joy. Like warts and all he seemed so happy

I wanted to pick his brain and i wanted him to hug me.


Kactus is officially

just that fucking mother.

Like we need to just send her roses and shit, HOURLY.

Cause that

That's the awesome.


When I teach . I tend to teach in " low" income places. And everytime I go

This quote springs to mind

"They don't see innocence in our behavior. They do not think that what is being done to them is a mistake."
-- Jonathan Kozol, "Amazing Grace: The Lives of Children and the Conscience of a Nation"

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BIG feminist concern of the day.

I cant find bras.

I can not by bras because they stop before my cupsize.

Were I a larger woman

I would be covered.

I am actualy to big and too small at the smaetime

and to get the few bras they make is 50-70 dollars per titty
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I wish..............

I wish I was just angry

I really do.

I was surfing my links and i notice how often I am called rageful ( even when its connected to righteous) or angry.

And it upset me.

I didn't know why

And I'm in front of a computer screen crying

and I remember.

Angry is what people called me to make me sound crazy. or insignificant.

Angry is what I was called when someone tortured me daily made fun of my weight and accent and size and poverty at the ritzy private school . And no one did anything

Jealous is what they said when I protested him being president of shit cause he wouldn't do it and then the club folded.

Righteous is simply the preface for " whoops you were right"

Angry is what happens when you shake so hard cause you tired of letting people see you cry when your taunted day in and day out and erased and only trotted out for brochures.

Angry is what happens when the person who tells you time and time again is finally expelled for stealing a calculator.

I wish that this book and BFP and not having nubian and evil emails and being called "some people" was just anger.

I wish it wasn't that gnawing drop in your stomach of this has happened before and will happen again.

I really fucking wish I didn't get so upset at being hinted as being sex negative .

I wish I didn't remember being a 16 year old peer leader knowing that the guy I had to teach 14 year olds with was a fucking sexual assaulter. And watching as my peers sat back and nodded their heads at him telling me I didn't know what I was talking about when I even broached the idea we were to young for sex.

I wish that I was just thinking of myself when I went

" I'm not comfortable talking about it"

and I didn't let the

WITH HIM AROUND come out.

or the small disgust I feel with myself at still trying to be his friend and partner.

I really wish that everytime I hinted a responsibility as 16 year old I wasn't met with my peers going your no fun.

I wish that at 22 I wasn't called hating for the same damn thing.

I wish I didn't spend time combing scarleteen on a 56.K dial as a wanna be nun just so I could say something to the girl who was being surrounded by the football team.

I wish I had had something to give them that wasn't just hope and prayer .

I wish my favorite kids to teach didn't come with babies and bad knowledge of STD's .

Or that a nickel bag of weed meant they couldn't pay for the college of their dreams.

I wish that every time people like me show up in certain things it's always about us being saved and not saving ourselves. I wish people stopped getting credit for talking about us and claiming to talk to us

I wish that I didn't know at 22 what it feels like not to matter at all. I wish I didn't have it confirmed all the time, in code terms like demographic , or political correctness gone amok.

I wish that people stopped for one second, making excuses for others to even wonder out loud why I might be this hurt .

I wish that people paid as much attention to the sound of my tears as they did to the sounds of my screams.

I wish

I wish

I wish
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Class,Classes,and CLASS

So this post is inspired by a post Ren made and a mt own meandering thoughts

I realize often I don't flesh out my life much and while I yell about my class a lot I haven't explicitly

Yesterday was an interesting day for me class wise.

I cussed out my moms bill collector cause we didn' t have money and they KEEP CALLING WE AINT GOT IT SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

While praying to get a job that would literally triple my income.

Meaning monetarily if it ( or the others ) goes well I would become instantly instantly middle class, thanks to my UPPER UPPER CLASS degrees.

And could pay that pesky bill.

While researching belcanto coaches and monologues for the finals .

I guess it's the snob in me that goes off when people go your just jealous.

I have been exposed to everything short of Extreme obscene has to be bathing in the blood of innocents wealth.

And that is more by personal design than anything.

I was born in Queens in a very black/Carribean town to the point that I had an accent and didn't know that white people who weren't family existed , was in every accelerated class. HAd a rough time cause I was tall , fat, Odd looking ,with a hellion of a mama.

I am part of the Prep For Prep program, a New York based program designed to take young inner city children of color with leadership and intellectual potential and put them in the independent schools of NYC and the boarding schools of New England.

I was skipped so I was doing this testing and the like at 9 years old. After completing Prep in a very middle of the road mediocre fashion. " Shes brilliant but why can't she spell or write , or do any of the basics, yet she can dissect literature with the best of em.

(Dear Prep ,

Just so you know when I was put in the middle tract english class I READ EVERY DAMN BOOK IN THE ADVANCED COURSE. Still bitter but much love in hindsight- BA)

The battle to skip me was NASTY and by nasty I mean teachers cried, channel seven was called, my mom threatened everyone she could and some folks I wish she hadn't. SO when prep introduced me around with mediocre grades, but a delightful charm , it was well accepted especially because I was so young.

My birthday is REALLY young for the grade I'm supposed to be in. As in in many of these elite mills , where i was applying to be a 7th grader I would have been a FIFTH GRADER.

My mom and I remembered the fight so shunning many of the well known are you kidding me advantage schools , we told Prep . NO HAPPS NOT GETTING PUT BACK !. Brokered and bartered I ended up at my alma, a second tier Ivy institution ( according to NY mag which really is up the private school systems but all the time).

Mind you that school which I finally was defaulted to costs roughly in total

20- 25 grand a year.

You betcha my middle and high school costs more than some colleges!

Kind a got on sorta lead stuff. Did activities was a bane to the exsistence of everyone cause I was smart as a whip, awkward as shit, a school mom, but odd and often just off.

Mind you at 16 I was a peer leader , helped interview the current headmaster and in charge of 15 year olds as a " wise elder sage".

Oh did I mention at 16 ADD in hand I was applying to college . Prep wanted all Ivies all the time to the point they made me Add some and subtract safeties . My counselor was not so sure and tried to get me to aim lower.

Applied to 11 schools. Got in 7 . Three offered full rides.

Prep let me know I was going to Penn.

which is ladies and germs 42,000 a year
.
I started at SEVENTEEN and finished at 20 .

I could not vote when I started, could not drink when I graduated.

I got most of my class in class

So it is always amusing to me when people propose I may be uneducated or not grasping concepts or writing in code.

It's thinly failed elitism aimed at someone who in all seriousness.

More elite than them. IF she cared about their standards.

I hate lionizing critical thinking because I believe it to be intellectually deficient and becoming more and more useless in a multi layered global economy.

I ask the stupid often acerbic questions I do not because I'm slow but because I am a devotee of the Socratic method.

What amuses me is that for all the schooling all the class elevation none of this has been about adding something NEW to me.

Private schools will go on and on about forging new leaders but they add nothing new and in most cases they only are preparing kids to take positions decided for them LONG before they got there.

And that is the dirty secret of class. Much of it was determined before you even showed up.

It's more about the names and stamps you put on it than any actual content.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I made the finals of my show and if your in NEw York and want to see me both seduce and plot the down fall of the MOOR hit me up on email. I'll also let you get to see a video of me singing iwth the flu and my jiggly belly!

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So Lets call this a month of fundrasing.

I need about 600 to go to the AMC ( money for airfare registration blah blah balh )

I will do my best to cover a good chunk of it myself cause some of it is me being anal

BUT I don't knwo I have that job and work slows up in summer so while i job hunt and plot times is HARDDDDDDDDD.

And 12 days after my college roomies marriage *GASP*


I WANT TO MEET BFP soooooo

It's fundraising to send BA to AMC.

Clickketh the donation button ( also anyone whose donated recently I PROMISE I Will be sending emails tomorrow)

Had a pet topic you wanted to hear me rant about?

Ill blog for cash prices will be decided shortly.

Know any one who might want to sponsor me long as I write about it

SEND EM MY WAY.
Read more!

Fuck you You Fucking fucks

I have read since I was 10 months old.

I go to libraries instead of church.

When I am communing with knowledge nothing short of God himself can pull my ass from reading.

My library has 15 minute computers so when I check my email I don't have time to marinate on it

Then Donna let me know about this through email.

A six foot black woman running out of a library is funny.

That is not.

This is why a book will get me mad .

This is why the idea of feminists being some pleasure focused we cna be men group is frightening.

It's not about hits or popularity .

It's not about wars ( though Belle that storm is coming)

It's about reality and truth and the ability to be something here that we can't be anywhere else.

We need another white bred ill infomed lying narcissistic elite like we need more nukes.

I have (ha!) held my tongue but I 'm gonna go on and be full blast

I am tired of reading sob stories detailing how these criminal aliens are “invisible” and must “live in the shadows.”

Myself, I see them everywhere. Target. Walmart. Mobil gas station. My apartment complex. My place of employment.

They talk loud in Mexican and advertise their lawless presence here in the US. They move into our neighborhoods though we make it obvious we don’t want them. They march openly and defiantly against America yet they survive chiefly as a parasite to America’s public assistance programs.

UGH! What an ugly race!!!!
love,
Ms Taletha of Texas | Thrillseeker96@yahoo.com | IP: 140.198.105.105

That's what BFP receives through email. Thats what Mexican and Latina women must live with. and I checked EVERY MOTHERFUCKING SINGLE ONE OF THE "MAJOR" blogs. Not a word.

But EVERYBODY could report on a clavicle. or their ipod lists.

You don't have fucking time. Neither do we . Now that blog traffic surveys include race suddenly you want to talk about it.

I notice that no matter how many times Twisty degrades and insults you yoou make sure you keep her as a high respected blogosphere link.

No matter how many times you steal form BFP and report race issues smugly with little consideration, you can't be arsed to put up one sentence when she's gone?

Stumbling into conversations about memories of bar and fictitious happy childhoods and I'm not evil I swear it while she and others fight for our lives.

You talk about wanting to hold media responsible yet the only attention you pay is to " big fish " while women who claim to be fore literally face death and fury and threats for putting words to page.

How many times does KOS of Firedoglake have to do dumbshit before the price of it to real people is less than the opportunity to mug with Hilary Clinton or have a new byline ?

Links for us and comments are not about traffic. Links are what makes it known that you cant come to a certain place and degrade our lines. comments are the voices that let the trolls and the assholes know you will be reckoned with.

They are the things that keep us from disappearing in the night. You can't be bothered to be challenged or discuss or even say

We're here so you don't have to be alone in front of a motherfucking keyboard.

While debate dissecting our shit for your own self glorification

and you know this when you joke at calling people sluts. You know this when you sit and talka bout how much smarter you are than the discourse, you know this when you call us stupid, or misquote us , or mischaracterize us , or deliberately disrespect or requests for privacy and autonomy.

Use our names and bodies for press or conveniently rember how important it is to be one of us when you can get paid.

But it's not really powerful until then,

We can't organize till then

Our lives aren't worth it till then

YOU KNOW THIS

You know how little it takes to not feel alone or left out

You know how powerful a simple I'm here can be

And you fail

you fail us time and time again

Clavicles are more important than bombs, than children


Torsos need more defense than the first amendment

with I don't have the time or I didn't know or I can't I can't or oops I missed it

but never a chance to get paid for it or worshipped for it?

Time and time a gain the ball seems to get dropped with no steps towards being better


AND YOU WANT PEOPLE TO TRUST YOU WITH A MOVEMENT?!!

Fuck you .

Maybe you'll find the sisterhood when you learn how you treat sisters.

To BFP Know you are bathed in the light and the love of so many. Also if you aint at Amc let me know now so i don't make my next post.

Read more!

Imperative of the Life

The imperative of my life is reconciliation

I am corrupting the meme because I think it is time for us to be imperative aboutwhat folks need to know.

My imperative is reconciliation and my name

I am the ultimate outsider insider.

I was born a poor black child.

I was born a spoiled mixed immigrant.

I was born developmentally disabled.

I was born a Mensa member.

I am an opera caliber singer

Forged in the fire of hiphop.

I was born sticking out when I wanted in ( guess my rising sign I'll give you an internet cookie)

But I was born

I was born

I was born.

It has been about reconciling a self that has me writing as an Amazon

But being called Mama when I was 13

It has been about what I will and will not claim.

How I will and will not allow myself and my individuality to be used.

This is not it

( no one's crazy enough to invite me to shit so we can not worry about this)

I had honestly intended to leave it alone when I finished reading it in borders today, because the propel wondering if I was going to incinerate it in my hands was enough.

But Nezua's right and so is Donna

I have no desire to be good and as things GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE for women , and people seem to have no idea why their mad. We have to sya the real or say the real consequences.

I am not demoralized. I am disgusted.

And I am naming names.

Nubian who has of course left for her sanity was right about this six months ago

WHEN SHE JUST SAW THE DAMN COVER

But this has nothing to do with me.

As a woman of color

As a woman of a certain class

As a woman of a certain education level and mindset

As a woman of a certain faith

So officially when I say

I'm not a feminist but,

If this is how you will be introducing "feminism" to young women,

Ms Valenti

When I say this is not me,

I would appreciate if you not be so brilliantly uninformed as to try and disrespectful as to try and dismiss offhand like I was some recalcitrant toddler or couch your condescension by only quoting the most baseless ( yet the fact it comes up in every piece you talk about ) homophobic bile in an effort to make yourself look better.

As a 22 year old women reading this book , I felt disrespected. As a teacher of nearly 9 years especially of "at risk " youth, I was appalled.

Young women do not need friends who reduce their problems with feminism to some issue with the coolness factor.

The definitely do not need it from people who would choose a very specific half naked torso and various approximations of Valley girl lingo .

I am a young woman who is NOT a feminist. I am a young woman who is one of many young women who has disagreed ,disengaged, delinked, and been disrespected by many of the feminist sisterhood.

I am part of a much longer line of women who has been caricatured, stolen from, and used .

Here our a young woman's problem with "feminism"

ESPECIALLY the full frontal kind.

It is lovely that the control of our bodies in the eyes of a leader is simply the war of prudes versus fun gals.

More so the idea that babies are our punishment is something that can only occur for someone who lives to expect that the babies she chooses to have some day will be valued.

As a WOC I can point you to dozens of countries where our people are forcibly sterelized .

While we can always always count on our outraged American white women to show up if the rights to abortions aka : "the insurance to fuck like entitled white men" is threatened where are they when women who wish to have children suffer dangerous fistulas , or bleed out due to lack of healthcare.

Is it not a feminist issue when our sisters and mothers in America are almost guaranteed subpar pre-natal health care. Is it not a feminist issue because those bellies don't look good without disembodied spare parts.

As a young woman the unattainable beauty standards and large weddings that you seem to think we can be deprogrammed out of are NOT just media received messages nor are they for some of us simply patriarchy programming.

I have long hair,big breasts, and a decidedly femme sensibility

Because it is my culture , and also because of who I am if i was not my life would be amazingly difficult.

It is disturbing to me that you seem to agree with the media culture that the young women who might choose this are as shallow and vapid as you make us sound.

That we may not have a decision to dress in certain ways that are culturally but not media influenced.

Or the very real influence it has on our lives.

The chapter Feminist do it better and other sex tips.

Thank you for subscribing to every cliche known to man that our block to feminism comes from some post Vagina Monologues obsession about our cunts.

Which yes even at 22 I am not so ashamed to mention.

It is not all about sex . The abortion debate is not all about sex. we are not little children in need of fairy tales to understand the very real consequences of lack of body autonomy.

We need no demonized cabals of people and we for sure don't need the junior encouragement of "making fun of the prudes" to instruct us into action.

I am not as a young woman in need of a faux peer , I need allies and understanding

I am of a generation where the money invested in our education is consistently dwindling, Where the difference between a student who graduated the year before me and my year debt was upped nearly six thousand dollars

Our access to health care )if We're not the kind of women who honestly feel that fights about their disposable are the ultimate barrier to feminism) is of consistently poor quality. Those doctors you seem to feel okay farming us out to have a bad habit of misdiagnosing some of us , regularly, without fail.

If we can get there.


My big problem with this book ,with the blogosphere, with the conduct of many of these big lefty feminist bloggers.

Is that tehy insist on acting immature, defensive,obtuse, oblibious and stealing and calling it " young feminism"

When women of color expressed a problem with teh use of racist tropes to make fun of women bloggers.

These women insulted my intelligence,and my reading comprehension, they did drive by posts intimating that Bint was feeling special things all in her head , And the rest of them stood by.

When WOMEN were forcibly torn from their children , they stood by.

But a Quizno's sub commercial , or a fashion model hundreds of comments. Lots of attention

This type of thing isn't about age or youth or seriousness.

It's about selfishness , and attention grubbing entitlement.

When Jessica Valenti wrote a post dedicated to the indictment of elders as a young feminist , she predicated it on teh fact that of course they were doing it because she was young.

When another young woma n disagreed with her on Ampersand because she obtusely either intetionally or carelessly made sure to aggrandize the upperclass organizations she wanted acess to as the face of feminism.

She made sure to criticize the women's reading and never show up again.

Feminism is a full frontal media assault where issues are only important as long as you cna get some power.

You claim to speak for young feminists being out of the age range of MANY of our primary concerns.

You do not engage in any real feminist interaction with the women you claim to want to reach , a multitude of people who have reject feminism unless their rejection can be characterized or remedied by glibness,condescension and tut tuts to the most superficial or the emotions coursing through what is an obscenely difficult time in our lives.

You know better cause your older but older feminists are cruel.

You will show up anywhere to correct ( often glibly and incoorrectly) perceptions of yourself.

You post attack s on women as long as their on the wrong side.

But you have the gall to say this feminism addresses it's issues. When you can be barely pressed to engage the women of color who have issues with? you have the nerve to sell an idea to young women that it is open when you hope to make your money off the very fact it's not.

The problem with this book is that for a feminist you have embraced through trying to counteract every untrue, malicious , and simplistic view of the shallowness of women, and our concerns and thing if you put in soundbytes we won't notice that your only talking to a few of us and simply using the rest of us to look good.

But worse you claim to do it in my name.

Yes my name

A young woman, with hopes dreams goals fears and challenges.

None of which you addressed in any substantial form,

none of which you consider to have more life that three line posts.

Feminism is failing because too many feminists believe the worst in the women they claim to be reaching.

As a proud woman

as an imperative of my life , my love, my very being

if you get nothing else

get this

NOT NOW

NOT EVER

but especially

if this is all you have to offer

NOT IN MY FUCKING NAME

THIS IS WHY I AM NOT A FEMINIST


Donna , Ren EV, BFP,Kai, Kevin,Nezua and Bint what are the imperatives we need to know?
Read more!

Don't Include me

I started and stopped about three posts

cause I didn't want to admit it.

One monologue. And I didn't even cry damn it!

I coughed a lot. Shook shivered

Kind of vomited but sure it didn't get me.

I was DETERMINED to float on the river in EGYPT

I showed you the character sketch but it struck while I was performing.

What I was talking about could only happen to a women of color and more specifically a black woman.

While people prayed for her soul and the like , the degradation the exhibition

TO THIS DAY

RIGHT NOW

AS WE SPEAK

ONLY HAPPENS TO POC.

To prove I am a mother.

I must be groped

To exercise our right to run for office

We need the earliest Secret Service detail....... IN HISTORY

And Our Allies

Well look at em.

They will argue with us about our tone, and call on us to support them

and twiddle their thumbs when it is OUR LIVES.

Abortion,

How many of the women who are gnashing their teeth over partial birth bans have ever known the danger that it holds when it comes form the fact

YOU DON'T have proper health care?

Nezua and BFP and Yolanda Carrington have covered it beautifully

But I think I want to take it one step further

Don't fucking include me.

Don't just don't so it.

Day late dollar short just don't include me.

When you stand and recount how people bought and sold parts of you and how hard it is for you to stand up and jsut say these words aloud.

And you realize you get chided for your anger more than acknowledged for your truth.

How naked and scary that is.

To watch when people post on ripping babies from mothers and people worry about teh ovber indulged white girl filmmaker I sort of tweeked.

To read as we literally watch the first black man to mount a serious Presidential campaign in my life. I AM 22 years old people.

He needs to watch so predators don't take shots at his kids

He needs secret service agents WHEN HE IS BEHIND IN THE POLLS! Oh and lets remind you that he still isn't old enough to be form an era when black people had the nationwide right to vote.

and all you can worry about is whether or not it's sex or race.

or that Hillary must be getting em too right right

THERE IS A WAY IT CAN BE ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't include me

Please don't include me .

Don't deign to do me any fucking favors, when you equate the realities of me risking my life with the mere possibilities of your own discomfort.

This is officially the post Imus world .

And the Liberals look as bad as the conservatives.

They continue to believe that these conversations will be carried out on a basis that means they have to sacrifice or have nothing to lose.

Maybe that's why it turned to hip hop so quickly o r became a Community victory

Imus teaches us one thing very clearly if nothing else

It will no longer be a one sided talk.

You have the ablity to lose,

JObs favor influence.

We are watching as it slip s through fingers of accepted powers, our country.

and just realizing it now doesn't make you smart

or progressive it makes you slow

and unreliable.

Don't include me

You're not benevolent gods, or fulfilling the promise of your society by wising up

You will not include me.

You will reckon with it.

You will reckon with teh fragments of power that constantly slip out of your hands because teh smae things you never wnat done to you ( sit down be quiet be less uppity ) you do to others?

You will reckon with a policy dedicated to ma king lives unworthy

You will reckon with a consistent policy orf disregard and disrespect.

You can ignore it no matte rhow much its's screamed ,

ANd we bring it to your door.

You can be comfortable with the ones who assure they'll do it your way

or you can listen to the ones who tell you tehy won't

and tell them to be quiet
as if that lessens their anger

or simply makes you less likely to be included next time.

You will not include me

You will not pretend that you didn't watch while I suffered for you sins

It does not happen to you

It only happens to us.

But you're gonna include us?
Read more!

Charachter Bio The Venus Hottentot- A meditation on so many things

So for my dramatic monologue( email/send a message if your interested in attending and in they NYC area)

I am writing /meditating/procrastinating/ a bio about the character.

And you're gonna read how I work

Play-Venus
Author Susan Lori-Parks
Name- Saartje Baartman
Age- Early 20's

For this character I worked it backwards because it is a character that especially in the BLack diaspora has a constant resonance especially among artists . An i'm musical anyway

So the music list is

1. Transformer(live at Abbey Road)-Gnarls Barkley
   
2. Someday We'll All Be Free- Donny Hathaway
3. Solomon Sang-Cassandra Wilson
4. Jezebel-Sade
5. Your Daddy's Son- Ragtime Audra McDonald
6. King of Sorrow-Sade
7. Sacred Stones-Sheila Chandra
8. Time After Time-Cassandra Wilson
9. Say You Want It All-Amel Larrieux
10. Lilac Wine- Nina SImone
11. Sanvean-Lisa Gerard
    

I finalized the music bit and the next part becomes easier, even as I am distracted by thinking of all the shit I'm gonna do on my " day off"

Preceding Action
The preceding action is that The Venus has just watched her lover the Baron Docteur declare his everlasting love to his fiance ( a blonde white woman)

Only after the fiance appropriated her buttocks and lips.

She has aborted two children she wanted to keep.

He has sold her to a medical society.

He presents to the fiance the same substance he has been plying her with as a symbol of his love

Chocolate.

Thoughts/Fears/What's going on

I am afraid to touch this one.

Which is why I have to. i am using all the crutches i can to avoid standing up and saying this but i have to get this out in some way so that I feel prepared for what I may unleash.

The first thing that reached out to me is that she is my age ( 25 /26 to my 22/23) when she dies.

Parks interviews about not wanting to make her just a victim and showing how she could have been complicit in her situation.

Jean Young roasts it here and I agree with her but how can I agree with Young and s till think it's worth theatrically ? Why does my gut go so different from my head.

She's a teenager for much of it.

What teenager is in their right mind and god in the 1800's what did she know. Sure she wants the money the fame but does she know any better. She's adrift, not taught anything and until they question her morals , the ignore her intelligence. The say she shall be famous ( Say you Want it All thats why I chose that one)

She speaks Dutch ,

And passable French ( me too)

She occupies the very imagination if not the soul of so many black women . I must get that out of my head,

The " largeness" of how she looms in the creative Jungian Black folk psyche .

Why?

For me god she looks me.

She does some of the more vulgar caricatures I found she's me sans the gut and less muscled .

Less muscled cause she spent so many times caged

But that ass .

Yep thats me minus about 6 inches and some tone due to sports.

The first time I saw teh non DPS cover at Winky's a i compared myself and we laughed cause

It is me.

This picture ....

How much further can you get from feeling beautiful.

IF looking like the right gets you millions

and looking like the left

I'm on the left

gets you caged

She could read , she knew all the press about herself as sexual excess, as grotesque and nasty and evil.

She also knew the men who paid her , the men who paid gold coins she never saw to creep into her body.

And then the ones who didn't who took it form her, just to say the had her.

The exotic one.

The body you make fun of to your frames and dream of at nights.

She knew all of this

at 25

He cuts her hair to make her presentable

I refuse to so I'm not.

And to keep her man the fiance takes on what's Venus' selling point.

Video girls are ho's but Beverly Hills pays thousands for Brazilian but lifts

Black lips are jokes and playboy cartoons but we write songs about Angelina Jolie's.

She would have seen the bustles and the women arching their backs to look like her

She just watched that shit the only

Thing he ever gave her were abortions,chocolates and haircuts.

Chocolate made her fatter

less lovable

But he gives chocolate to Fiance it comes with his undying love

her skin is the color of chocolate

She is also chocolate

at one point a gift from the gods now discarded as fat

to be gotten rid off

Last bad pick up line

Me: Sexy Chocolate Girl
Winky: French Vanilla Girl


Songs

Lilac Wine- She drinks to forget

Solomon Sang- Does it matter how much he loves her how much he values her if in the end he leaves her in a cage. How happy he gets , and she disappears from the song.

Sanvean- wailing what must her soul have felt like . Duende look for darkness

Sacred Stones- QAF church this was holy this was her holy gift from him to him. It was holy, She gave of herself . HE will take her apart LITERALLY

Time after Time- She thinks of him constantly. She lets him go

Jezebel- do i even have to explain it. The stereotype. Black women are easy , slovenly, but no one cares how we got there. And it makes them feel safe

Summary

She is consenting die and all she can think to explain herself is the history of chocolate.She is chocolate. She never gets to finish HER story , she will die . She can tell the story of chocolate as she watches her only love leave her. She's been dissected destroyed internally . She is telling the story's of the gods and the transformation of chocolate . She is DESTROYED. This is her consent to die

This is the only story she can tell and be listened to. They will let her be smart for this. She loved him so desperately. She wanted so much all she has is this story



Next Action

She dies

in a cage.
Read more!

Jeff Chang - I think I want your kids

Via Model Minority


Dear Jeff Chang

I heart you

That is all
Read more!

Fairy tales... for dummies

One of my favorite performers is Anita Baker

and one of my favorite songs by her is the song FairyTales

an amazing song about the end of Fairy Tales in a woman's life.

When I was little my fairy tales were the original Grimm versions and Scheherezade so I never truly understood the infatuation with the have to do nothing , earn nothing , and then be worshiped for it mentality that goes along with so many women's desires in weddings and relationships.

Missed it completely.

I find it even less amusing when it's used to discuss a political candidacy.

And when it's used to snidely and unsuccessfully put a WOC in her place by a white woman who's big whine is she can't get everything she wants....

Well yall know how I do

Besides the rampant white woman syndrome

Dowd's a hypocritical jerk .

Her admonishment of Michelle Obama is couched in the comfort of her perch as the knowledgeble "good woman" who knows how to treat her man.

Which I will give you ten seconds to figure out what that makes Michelle Obama.

Okay I lied one second.

If you went Sapphire or an emasculating shrewish black woman , you win the cookie Ms. Dowd so desperately wants for existing.

What amuses me most about this mishmash of a high school slam journal and a thinly veiled love letter to Barack is her inability to actually read her own carefully selected quotes.

First off Michelle Obama says that she finds her husband a great man , an amazing man , whose accomplishments she respects.

He's also the man the mortal she's lived with for 15 years.

Now Ms Dowd may be oblivious to the kind of coverage Senator Obama gets but there are times when you turn on the news and wait for th man to turn the Great Lakes into a vintage Shiraz for all the breathless gasping over his candidacy.

Except she is aware because she wrote the worlds worst hatchet job on him in hopes of deflating the hype.

So she should understand why Michelle Obama might pick up the paper and not have a clue who they are referring to.

Of course her nice thoughts about her husband are merely throw ins and oddly enough concentrate on the vernacular interjections which may or may not be actual quotes. The way Dowd writes we can never be sure.

I will also skip over the fact that the most emasculating comments come not from Michelle Obama but "descriptions" by Dowd.

And by descriptions I mean assinine suppositions comparing Senator Obama to a dog or a child.

She also tries to posit that Obama has nothing but the mystique to sell .

Well that is true Ms Dowd since it's all you seem to listen to.

And the final lines.

Those inspire the

LADY SHUT UP!

Dowd tries her best to cast Michelle Obama as an opportunistic, " problem " because she has teh audacity to relate to her husband, as her husband

Which is more comical

Because does anyone remember her last book?

What the title was

" Are Men Necessary?"

You see Dowd wrote an ENTIRE BOOK dedicated to the " phenomena" of women having problems getting partners and respect without compromising themselves or having to fight off these Harridans of feminism.

LIFE IS SO HARD FOR A HIGH EARNING WOMAN SHE CAN'T FIND A MAN WITHOUT REGRESSSING!

Except Michelle Obama can and did. She has a husband she respects and isn't his defacto servant but his WIFE and says as much .

HOW DARE SHE!

Dowd's book is devoted to the phenomenon of wanting to be loved as a smart sassy woman...

except when it violates the fantasy of a camelot prince

because forbid the problem Might just MIGHT be that men don't have as big a problem with powerful women but that the problem with certain women

isn't their power

But their lack of willingness to still love men ( or vote for them) when their not cardboard fairy princes.
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I got work so Ill respond later but

HNIC covers it brilliantly but I got shit to add

but most of it's gonna start with

Maureen O Dowd

Now it is time for you officially to

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
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