Yeah SURE that'll help

Good Morning America made me laugh today and then I discussed it IRL with people who exemplify all that is wrong with elite Americanism ON BOTH ENDS of the spectrum but mostly it made me laugh

And I needed it considering the week I'm having.

Getting ready found out about the CHOKING GAME?

* said in that very grave and I'm serious voice by Chris Cuomo who if any man screamed American frat boy half repressed twas he*

This game that is scaring parents involves kids videotaping themselves choking each other out and

*GASP*


IT'S THE HONOR STUDENT TYPE A TYPES WHO HAVE EVERYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT DO WE DO


OMDFGLJSSSBBQ!(*@^@&*


And then the brought out the kid who had been SAVED and they were shocked SHOCKED I TELL YOU

The kids were talking about how the rush is amazing and good. And they were the picture of white middle american values talking about this rush

And in left coasty immigrant Neuva York I was laughing my bubble butted bootie off.

That rush Junior?

It's an orgasm, the propensity of the film evidence? Young kids are desperate for affirmation and attention which parents have equated with money and well their young kids god love their for malleable to their peer group who being young kids makes em

Ninnies.

Oh and the frequency it occurs in " good boys" and boys in single sex groups.

YEP. Lil Willie likes the homosex!

He'll be making some dominatrix and/or dominant really happy in oh bout 3 o r 4 years!

What made me laugh is that they couldn't even say it.


It's not the choking club it's auto erotic asphyxiation.

Kids are filming themselves masturbating and their only rush is how close to death their cumming ( I'm making that one into a poem)

And they're just upping the audience.

American prudery and overshare on full blast.

They want to solve a problem they can't even say out loud, or even really talk about. Yet THEY WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS GRAVE DANGER!

What makes it grave , the amount of kids dying? Nope our asses would be talking about poverty if we were shooting numbers.

It's the TYPE of kids.

The A++ smart " WHITE" kids . Those kids are dangerous and harming and

HAHAHAH

I'm sorry living in the "ghetto" and on the campus of IVY. Violence people getting stuff they wanted from me, getting jacked sure I fear that in the hood.

Mindboggling levels of pure a unadulterated evil directed towards others and themselves. Man if the hood had a year long convention and took a vote with our best and brightest and our base and bawdy WE STILL COULD NEVER come up with some of the magnificent shit I heard my FRESHMAN YEAR.

Now I want to avoid the sex wars because I've gone from I'm not sex positive to maybe I am to every time they start I feel like throwing a Superbowl party with Sylvia, Bint , BFP and em


" The white women are fighting again must be a day ending in Y"

At least we shall have snacks

But

In an age where I on my daily walk through the book store I see ass crack every day, if I get any more numbered tips on how to drive a man wild I will burn down da store. AND NO ONE NO ONE even broached the CONNECTION not to mention long standing tradition of AEA and it's history of being the thing for HIGHACHEIVER personalities. WHOOPS that might mean we'd have to examine why making our kids lil Type A machines at 14 might not be the best idea if we don't commit to knowing all that it means

NOR

will anyone discuss the possibility that this push towards voyeurism isn't just some technology is the devil thing but maybe a result of a pervasive societal dependence on others for gratification, and self affirmation , in ANY FORM be it violence degradation, or applause and free stuff

NOR

the well shit their teens discovering their sex drives and if you keep making them subliminate them into school and activities , while making ACTUAL sexual activity both as common place and available and non arousing as handshakes WHILE also making it seem more deadly and ostracizing as the bubonic plague

The lil twisted muhfuckers will find other shit to do cause hey that what all lil motherfuckers do! I did it

NOR

The pervasively single sex aspect of it and it's prevalence in oppressively homophobic situations. IE if we stopped fucking a round and just let John BLOW Tim . Tim wouldn't need to ask John to STRANGLE him?

( plus that for all the bullshit we're feminist yadyadayada teen websites no matter what in terms of SEX are ALWAYS TALKING TO GIRLS and I mean to the point they default to female stereotypes talking about issues in a very women centered way , that men are barely consulted if they don't have PHD's and they make boys seem UNWANTED as if their sexual change is some oncoming case of leprosy, I mean who exactly do they think these girls is fucking?)

The best is Scarletteen and at times they still annoy me with the heavy weighted genderslant, but still fabulous.

NOR

The hmm teenage sexuality needs to stop being talked about through the adult lens of well everyone has a right to get off vs religion/misogyny/ tea party.

Since he nearly killed hisself it's obvious the lil premasturbator doesn't know how to do it well or the kids passing along this new " high" ( I swear to god they called it a high)

HIS SIMPLE ASS SHOULDN'T BE DOING IT NOW

not NEVER

But NOT right the FUCK NOW

and the discussion of this as PROBLEMATIC ( yes if your sex activity could get your simple ass KILT it's problematic so is calculus , quantum physics and Ave Maria from Verdi)

and not as some cushy bullshit in the BUT EVERYONES SEXUAL ACTIVITY IS OKAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or the Equally annoying

THEY DON'T REALLY LIKE IT THEY BEEN LED ASTRAY BY THAT HIPPITY HOP MUSIC/VIDEO/STRIP CLUBS/KEYSER SOZE

You know what people WE FUCKING GET IT . We get it . So now the topic of sex and specifically sex with teens can't even be broached with people actually talking.

HELL NO

We get one side going off on how it's all okay long as we make em responsible and knowledgeable without allowing for the mere possibility that to make em knowledgeable ( AND FULLY FUCKING ENJOYABLE) these things have to be fully fleshed out and examined and guess what almost all kinks ( mines included ) don't look good under harsh lights.

Guess what most sex doesn't . THAT'S WHY IT'S FUN!

and one side

Who are trying to make us all genitalia less meat puppets be it by deity or Dworkin, who want to prescribe every single inch of what is an d is not acceptable and truly make you want to lean to the left and look for the Soma cause we are in a brave new world or we're going out like the Shakers

the safe ground maybe one website!

We've created a waste land , now what.

A kid talks about the evils of choking , while clearly looking like fuck you I'll find a way to do it better. Every kid who does this knows his advocacy is full of the bullshit and the adults pat themselves on the backs going we've saved our chosen children.

While your chosen children become the repressed obsessed killing their simple asses for kink that are desensitized HAVING LESS ORGASMS through life while being told that their sex practices as long as their personal are the only ones that matter or

Kids so frightened of any urge the subliminate them into some freaky nasty and I mean make gonzo porn look like veggie tales but it's all okay


As Long as they lie

Oh and all y'all in the middle . Forget y'all you don't exist

GLORIOUS we now have kids who kill themselves to feel a good orgasm and adults who can't even say it out loud

I should be sad but mostly I'm amused
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But I wanna look good

I am a bout to give the fuck up.

FOR SERIOUS.

I am about o burn my pants and consign myself to skirts

no for serious.

I though I had gained weight , except the waists of my pants were bigger.

BUt no no more beating self up get the size twenty tall and accept teh BA body.

DAMN FUCKING PANTS WAIST TOO BIG

oh and because they don't make non work out pants for those of us with asses the waist is big the thighs and ass hold on like my momma to a dollar and the extra material in the crotch made me look like a very over confident teenage boy

OH AND BEST BELIEVE THOSE THINGS WERE STILL AN INCH SHORT
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I started a fight

i caused an entire fight on pandagon and MISSED IT.

Because a woman is so incensed at my reading of sofia coppola that it too precedence over abused women and children!


But of course good feminist she is she wanted to stop the beating up on women, by slagging me and my credentials, barely reading my essays, and calling me a classist. WHILE FLAUNTING A FILM DEGREE!

But never once steppe dto ME cause others must TEACH HER.

Note to the fucking stupid.

My door is always open.

My words are always mine.

Ask me first

and we want to bandy about degrees

well ya'll know where I live.

And please say the name Blackamazon.

It won't hurt.
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Today I crawl my own skin

Today I crawl my own skin and hair and teeth


One of my favorite lines from a movie is

" Have you ever stared at your self in the mirror until your face is just shapes not good or bad just shapes"


I spent a lot of time in the mirror yesterday because it was girl grooming day. And I stared at myself .

And I crawled my own skin both in term of travel on hands and knees

and disgust.

I looked at myself today and I saw what it meant to be here and me on this day in 2007.

And everything it took to get me here on this day and it's ..

I mean to look at yourself and know that there is a good chance you were bred.

Be it through forced rape, interminable work, disease everything that ever brought yo u to the moment that made you you were because people decide you weren't people but property.

It was an awful place to be in my head but I was there and to be honest , I am amazing for what I was ,am and would have been engineered to be. Tall strapping, overtly feminine but strong like most men, pretty to look at .......

Or that whatever body you have godgiven like any other is a freakshow. The front cover for the play Venus about Saartj e Bartmaan, that's me smaller with less boobs ,less muscle tone, and sadly less belly.

Or that the two women that look most like you in your the best I can be state is to be a repeat circus attraction. Where people will write and write about whether or not your attractive or even human.

And if you have the nerve to walk with your head held high will get you called cocky or delusional, or a beast.

( Go read the current critiques of Dancing with the Stars if you doubt me)

And the remedy for that is to look whiter. Don't look strong enough to fight back and if you do play it down. Too damn tall already , make sure you look a if a good solid wind would lift your ass airborne.Curves are awesome and amazing if we can count your ribcage or you make sure to tell us that you are an emissary and spend lots of time thinking about it or struggled with it or it's an emblem of your odd and weird heritage

When I was talking with the magnificent Sylvia on why I couldn't get into FD week she hit me with this one.

any celebration of people of color that's not a major political gain centers around some element of desire from white folk


The desired and desirable of my people ( and when I say my people I include a whole lot of mofos) hinge on whether or not you can cross over. Beyonce , Shakira look dead alike. And are slight variations on a very prevalent theme.

IF you point out Queen Latifah , my question would be how many folks were beating down her door when she was just as stunning but rocked crown and medallions?

SO when people throw people who resemble her before more than after ,


Let's be honest

There is nothing wrong with them, we say everyday these are disposable people, I mean what is the first think Black crossovers do?


Why the over analysis?

I'm fucking miserable in a lot of ways , and the reason why is simple.

I'm not performing and when you come from a history of protests as soon as you could climb your chubby ass onto a table , and single voicedly taking choirs off their proper line cause you are that loud, and being told you are platinum voiced


to not perform at all, to not practice kills your soul, a little each day


You won't take care of yourself, the way you should, practice, or even think about your own joy.

So I stared at my face

and I asked

And I was ashamed for what I let myself become, for how hard I could be on myself, how little I let my own intellect rule when it comes to this.

Because frankly I am that fucking good, working three octaves, probably four or five, a manner that attracts people. I could do this

But what would I be,

And being that what would it make me.

Because this isn't just losing some weight , or femming it up a bit. Every single trope is built on the promise that is something I can never be, because I can not appropriate it. I can't be slightly exotic or thinly curved, or girl next door, that the unspoken truth is that it's about how much you display the ability to be dominated in these things , if not the desperation.

Before you even do the work.

I will be forever in this skin and all the things that being in this skin means

I will never EVER be judged on just my femininity or talent,

Any changes I make would have to say that what I am now, or what makes me all of those things are disposable, that I strive for some colorless place where by being colorless I say my color isn't good?

or so rare that they become all I am known for.


Or I become willing to live fighting ALL the time.

That I be selfish all about the inner voice and open up to the damage, or I be myself keep myself and must hope for luck?

That I will never be just shapes?
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My people

Still get thrown in shark infested waters and raped on ships


Still
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Beauty Day

It takes me three hours on a BA beauty day to pre detangle my hair

Thank the lord it's spring or I'd be flipping the fuck out as to what to do after
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In the Blood

Today in It had to come form somewhere,

which " lefty" blogger sent her mom to her closed union meeting with Eliot Spitzer with questions about the money he spends demonizing health care workers versus their single digit per hour pay scale.

Which mom replied fine but don't let me not be able to answer the follow ups?
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Love in the time of........... Hair

My new love today after a shitty job week and or blog week.

Young boys in the hood not cutting their hair.

I think it's so gorgeous , them enjoying being themselves

That and teh return of the elaborate cuts


But sorry Kai you can' t make me enjoy this is why I'm hot
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I'm a selfish bitch

I am a selfish bitch

If you're reading so are you

I'm in a horrible mood because frankly I have been turned off of teaching . I have been teaching for 8 years since I was 14 years old.

And I'm done, I'm frustrated constrained exhausted and


I ONLY WORK PART TIME. Though it takes up most of time

( ps know anybody in Philly?NY want to hire a bright talented 22 year old and give he rtime to pursue acting and singing CALL ME)

But mostly I'm just baffled.

Teaching day in day out brings me this observation.

I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE YOUR DAMN KIDS.

You with the self made halo , the fluttering eyelashes and oh so angelic motherly insomnia that prevents you from interacting with your children in any way that demonstrates you as teh adult.

No your kid is not cute. No you are not doing something magical for the world.

You wanted a kid. You had a kid.

Good for you.

I don't give a fuck.

You're fulfilling a selfish urge one most people have.

Stop looking for the audience applause.

When Nezua caught hell for satirizing Angelina Jolie, I couldn't even comprehend why.

Because adopting kids you WANT TO HAVE doesn't make you a fucking saint. It's not a fucking holy grail. It's a respectable ,( i respectfully roll my eyes) one but it's a choice.

She didn't save them she wanted em could get em and had them.

Her charity work does not extend to her children , unless you think that her wanting them is so out the fucking realm of possibility?

Which would make you racist and a fuck head and just answered my own question.

Like I don't believe in veneration of humans.

I can't you can't make me.

I don't believe in it because it's not love , it's not fair and for fucks sake it's not actually selfless.

BEING A FEMINIST

Nay a motherfracking human BEING is about being responsible and accountable for the shit you do.

And when you wrong people or people have a right to feel wronged by you. Assuming they just kind of misse dthe point or can't read or are " weird" or

OMG RACIST/SEXIST/SEX PHOBES / CRAZY POC?!?!!


makes you a fucking asshole no mitigation fullstop.

I had an uncomfortable Idea after I read this : Can You Tell the Difference


I was heated and cause it's BFP I was ready to rant away in BA fashion.

Except I Don't want anybody's applause.

or sorrow

or fucking pats on the head.

So i did a party in the BA way.

I conducted research.

I sat back and let the actions unfold.

Number of people who weren't already established non POC commentators or POC commentators who said ANYTHING about the attacks on BFP.

None

Number of stories on major blogs concerning WOC that were not directly sex,or pop culture related.

NONE

But oh what a week it was

in the week of a girl getting beat up in brooklyn

in a week of Shaquanda Cotton

in a week of aftermath of medford

Natasha Ramen

in a week of Texas not willing to search for a girls body in a landfill( until Senators through up some juice)

NOTHING

So in the wake of not being able to cover EVERYTHING( with the exception of Blog Her)

there was NOTHING.

I Won't even speak on that because the intent will of course trump that. Right, it must be okay cause nobody meant nothing by it. Nobody meant to make un invisible while using our work to " broaden horizons"

And that's part of the reason I had to no go Female desire.

I can't I just can't.

No one argues about whether video girls are empowering. But we can go on for days on end about the damn stripper pole as long as it involves soccer moms and white girls?

We can wax philosophical about whether bombshelling is or is not empowering but no one will talk about the underlying rise of the word HONKY or The misused Venus that made even teh most base uses of white women better than be a niggerslut, comfort women, hot squaw or the like.

Why feminine costume is about as getting as uncomfortably close to parts of me , while convincing me how much I need to be you.

That while I can't deny you your joy , I do notice that none of the colors of female desire lay cool against my brown skin.

That I have to write letters all sunday just to get girls out of landfills and prisons respectively.

That I got to call the Mayor just to make sure a girl can ride the bus in peace.

And I'm not in it to here me talk. I actually beg to listen. I want someone to explain to me why the fact you for the most part get every fucking thing you need and want reasonably , it is necessary to erase us and then try and destroy us for pointing it out?

Except I'm not really sure I want to listen anymore.

I don't want to listen to silence pierced by screams and sobs, and rains of blows that everyone tries to make you think isn't there or doesn't matter till THEY decide it does

I may be a selfish bitch but at least I'm fucking honest.
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Having Read The Fine Print......

My mind she is blank

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Kais ROundup

It's good

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I got know ya-

So I won't be posting reasons why You need to donate bail money as every post of the DAY


Cassandra Says it's female desire week.

I"M ALL FOR IT!
Todays Post. The alpha of it all. Playing his music will almost garuntee you getting some from me cause he's residually that fine to me
Maxwell _- Cut the hair still fine
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SEVEN FUCKING YEARS

This child got seven years for a shove.


The white girl burned down a house and got probation.

Somebody give me an explanation for that I'm just gonna sit here and wait for it.


Via Blogher

( also thank you SourDuck a good friend of this blog)

By Dear Kim
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One more again

BFP
1. If you could live any where in the entire world where would you live and why?
Not in poverty? Though I would love to do a year or three studying in london, with my wife chasing men.

2. You are required to fight in celebrity death match. If you don’t, you’re mama is going straight to purgatory! Which celebrity are you going to fight?
Paris Hilton goes DOWN!!!!!!!!!!

3. What tool would you use to deliver the fatal knockout punch to said celebrity?
A leather bound gold plated copy of Souls of BLack Folk and The Autobiography of Malcolm X

4. Which bloggers have you met (either in real life or on the phone) and why haven’t I been one of them?

QD/B|L and as soon as you tell me how and when to call you'll be next.

5. what do *you* think our answer is to the immigration debate? How, if at all, do you think that the current immigration debate neglects/forgets/silences your Guyanese community? How would your community change other otherwise challenge the “answer” of many progressives who center Mexicans in the immigration debate?

I think it's mostly sadly corporate /aesthetic bs. Immigrants don't take jobs they're given jobs. As obscene discounts because they feel the can be undervalued and are in certain industries. Those industries should pay fare wages and extend Immigrant friendly benefits . Also peopel don't come here willy nilly many folks ( mine included) come form places that have been interfered with by American/BRitish/ Spanish colonialism and capitalism . PURPOSELY to detriment.

HI THERE CHIQUITA!

Those companies should be made to pay and plan so that teh things and regimes and various fuckery they committed/ Stupid as it seems I love America but people need to get it out of there heads that we just come here cause we think America= greatness. Trust me if my parents could make a living and educate me and be happy I'd be in a farm someway enjoying my land. And much of that is connected to imperialism .

The Carribean immigrant situation is long and convoluted in ways I can;t begin to understand but it in my mind has a lot to do with numbers versus class. Mexican immigrants thanks to a lot of US fuckery are often more desperate and not as concentrated, Caribbean immigrants really do stay in very specific places, and do to the damn miniscule size of the countries often have much tighter, longer established community groups, not to mention a familiarity with both language and teh AMerican system . Also there is a very real point that sometimes ( and i Don't necessarily like it) the Caribbean pop blends into respectively teh African american or Asian American population.

DOnna:

1. You see a cute kid with a lemonade stand and decide to buy a cup for a quarter. After you drink it, he laughs wildly and tells you he is really a mad scientist and that the lemonade was a formula that will transform you. You blow it off as an imaginative kid and go on your way, BUT the next morning you wake up and you are transformed. You are now a bland white woman, like Jodie Foster! (I love her, but she is monochromatic.) How do you explain this to your mother when she is whacking you and asking you what you have done with her daughter? (You thought I was going to ask you what you would do as a bland white woman, didn't you?)

The truth and then we find the kid

2. What do you love best about yourself, physically? Explain why.
I love my skin. Doesn't blemish easily clear . pretty color. and if i could afford a dream what blemishes i had would be gone in three weeks.

3 How about mentally or emotionally or both? Also explain why.
I have a code of honor. i believe that one should have some level of honor and dignity and I try to uphold it. I often fail. But I try.

4. Do you think humans, all or some animals, and maybe even plants have souls? Or is it all a bunch of hooey?

Yes I do. All things have spirits.

5. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
as many as i feel like.

Sylvia

You have six months, unlimited funds, and no responsibilities. What do you do?

Paying my loans , training my voice and take acting classes, taking the wife to England.Write send mom on vacation take care of daddy

If you could organize only one charity, what would be its cause?

Saving the innercity babies.

What is your most memorable singing performance?

My first lines as Hecuba I loved that role .

What do you think qualifies as your nerdiest hobby, and why?

Oh the multitudes. Graphic Novels or Wrestling or dissecting media or comics. Or my general nerd approach to anything

Say you’re a famous thespian, and you have all sorts of awards under your belt. Clout-a-plenty. However, you go on hiatus because there’s one book you want adopted into a full-length feature film with you starring as the main character. What book and character is it, and why?

Kindred I am Dana. height build the interplay of being modern a slave power sexual tension . ME WANTS IT iw ould let that be my oinly role . If it was good

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What are your Wordsworth?

Cause I love him. Even though he may be tired of this poem.



And it is DESPERATELY applicable right now.


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Stop

Just Stop.

Do Shit or Can It.

No Please.

And I won't thank you in the end.


A video is published about the assault of women in AMERICA, the feminist majority whom so many seem to think we need to put our trust in is by and large silent , or days behind the POC bloggers. No mention is made .

But there is little outrage there.

There is little understanding in how devastating the silence about violence to our lives can be ,

But of course the vagaries of medical insurance coverage are necessary to be brought out.

Of course BFP must tell you why her anger is HELPFUL?

So can I ask why you questioning is helpful?


That you would prioritize angry words at a concept of how a struggle is being handled over the very real material in front of your eyes

IS disgusting

and straight up Unacceptable.

Maybe you never been raided

Not for what you did.

But for who you are.

I have.

You see INS has touched my life in many ways.

It basically tanked my GPA senior year.

Made the only contact I've had with my father through fiber optic cable., and makes sure that my mother sleeps in my childhood bed so as not to feel alone in the large one.

Four armed men took one injured one out with guns drawn and terrified my mother. May have assaulted her.

She won't talk about it.

And today I hold my baby cousin Fine Tings on my lap, and after she leaves listen to how her mother gets beaten regularly and how we have to be afraid to call the cops cause they're still in probationary period and her grandmother weeps on the phone

And I'm trying desperately to figure out how to make the four cousins I just met understand how important it is the do better in school.


And try and shove it in the back of my mind that after we talked about it both me and mom slept for hours though we were not tired

There is no Shibboleth

BE bout it or don't I don't care.

America is not the holy ground, American women are not the holy vessels .

We come FROM not TO .

We come from our streets,and sands to be

In hopes that today we won't be punished

and tomorrow we will not be ignored.

America is the great destination because it took so much time making our homes,our lives, hand in hand with other vicious murdering colonizers, dictator and madmen places we could no longer live.

And you make no words when they call us illegal , in hopes that the silence will make us invisible, but ask that our words be measured, while your actions never are.

Just Stop

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ARGGGGG

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO OUT ON 6AM on a fucking SATURDAY

TO TEACH

IN MANHATTAN

THEY'RE PLAYING TRIVIA GAMES AND WILL LIKE IT

and in the you gotta be fucking me this time

How much i make in the last two weeks

30 bucks.

Oh and for real I am not impartial I'm not even remotely trying to be an even tempered debatress.

Please remember fucking with BintAlshamsa ( the other original BA) will get you got

STUPID FUCKING SNOW

Puxawateny Phil needs an ass whupping
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Basically I'm Complicated

Five Question Meme

I asked three people to ask me five questions here they are

Join in if ya want!

From RE:


favorite hockey player?

I really started watching Hockey after the Rangers drafted a young man named Manny Malhotra. He got traded I subsequently stopped watching as much , but Grant Fuhr caught my heart in my moments of interests.

what person just makes you think impure thoughts whenever you see them?

HA! I'm amused , I'm a virgin with heavy scorpio tendencies so while this list is long and varies often at the moment

Cee Lo- When HE sings . My panties disappear like I have no clue whether I am actually attracted . When he and Dangermouse perform I' want to try him out.
Maxwell- how in touch with his inner nerd he is in addition the the GOOD GRIEF MAN YOU"RE GORGEOUS
The actor who plays Dennis " Cutty" Wise - ( Chad L Coleman) - I want to schmuzzle him and do bad and cuddly things to him
Milo Ventimiglia- I HAVE NO FRACKING CLUE WHY

Random digression John Cena- I love this dude's body . I can imagine the fun of exploring it. Me and a dear friend have him on her default make happy squad The idea of screwing him makes me feel vaguely pedophilic.

He's 8 years older than I am.


what one aspect of your personality do you think other people have the hardest time dealing with?
I'm a bit of a fucking know it all and a bit imperiousAnd when I'm done I'm cold. Real cold. I don't have lots of patience for things and when I'm done I 'm done. I Have a hard time connecting with folks because of it, because I manage to make people feel they know all about me and they have some hold and they don't.

Also scattered as a bat.

My wifey also thinks I don't value myself enough at all. She and my mom go tandem on me.

Did you ever wish you were shorter?

Nope never. I actually wish I had two more inches. I'm total about 6ft but most of it is actually hair and good posture. I'm just tall enough without it to feel kind of awkward around anybody who hasn't played a sport

Yankees or Mets?

METS

Mets since 1986. Till the day I go on to the next side. I'm not allowed to watch Mets game in my house as I get WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to involved

From Nine Pearls:

1.) What do you assume is the source of Prince’s unearthly cool factor? Is it genetic? Some sort of divine gift?

Prince is a student. Everything he does reflects a depth. HE does not mind NOT being cool. And not in the oh wah wah wha I'm so tortured way but the . If I can't get it my way perfectly than I will just wait. It's something many many folks talk about but few actually have.

2.) Which would you rather live through: an earthquake, a plague of locusts, or a volcano?

I survive! Thats all I need.

3.) What did you want to be when you grew up, when you were a little girl?

I was an odd lil duck in that I wanted power. I was very clear on that how I'd get it I didn't work out. I didn't want to be a lawyer . They lie. Nice to know at 2 I was so clairvoyant. HI Mr.Gonzales.

4.) If you could pick anyone to be president in 2008, who would you appoint?

It's a Panel: Angela Davis,Noam Chomsky,Greenspan, Wesley Clark, The editors of Bridge Called My Back and one Old School Reagan Conservative. They have to make all decisions. Bell Hooks is the head of the VP panel.

5.) If you were a male impersonator in some sort of drag king show, who would you impersonate?
BB. KING

From Belledame:
BA:

1) What's your dream role?
Dana from Kindred. And Electra . Rosalind from As You like it
2) Favorite playwright OR performance seen OR stage actor (or any combination of the above)
Play Wright: August Wilson?Shakespeare Tie. My favorite performance " My first Patrick Stewart in Tempest
3) What do you sharpen your machete on?
Observation and fresh fruit.
4) What was your favorite story as a child? (read or told to)
Scheherezade. I fell in love with the idea of saving the world with words.

5) When are we hanging out again already?!

SOON!
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Usually I ask for Jesus but for real for real The Devil might be better acclimated

FIX IT

I don't give a shit.


I really don't.

I am up to my eyeballs in I really don't care.

I'm tired of inflated " katrina" crime statistics that always neglect poverty as a cause.

I'm done to fucking death with excuses.

I'm sick of the why can't they do for themselves psuedo Alger bullshit coming from the first generation of motherfuckers to do worse than the families that spawned their entitled asses in nearly a damn century.

But we have the motherfucking gall to have Katrina fatigue, while stealing the heritage of these people.

No i don't want to have a good theoretical debate.

FIX IT.

I don't give a fuck how, or where or who.

FIX IT!

or maybe if we started legally arming all Katrina evacuees they might get some love. THEN

And if one person tells me it's hard or takes time. I may actually try and reach through this screen and snap you in half
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What she said

WHat she said
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Born To Do It

I am a believer in Cosmic Convergence.


One of my dear readers made me promise to blog an answer to a question , and I being writer's blocked and bored to tears said

" Yes of course"


The question is why do I bother? or on larger scale why do I ( as a WOC)in disagreements that tend to amount to various incursions into White Women Syndrome? Why do I let them dictate the terms of engagement, or do I feel as such?

That's that Deep stuff.

And Donna wrote this

And then BFP wrote this


Them.

While I am going to do my best to avoid a very saccharine I love you sistren post, one cause I don't feel like posting that and two because my underlying meaning really isn't all that nurturing.

This BlackAmazon persona is a little bit different from the woman behind it typing. As BA I often toss off things about myself in offhand manners, and I often treat them with a level of flippancy that doesn't really reflect how bad or good it was to me.

The life lived is very different.

When I speak of being young, I talk about being awkward and sheltered. About being 17 on a campus of 19-27 year olds with so many more resources, after being 12 in high school , and at 16 being in charge of 15 year olds as a voice of wisdom lying my black ass off.

Getting shouted down when I expressed opinions about not wanting sex at 16 or not feeling half ass I'm trying to be kind gestures, of being pelleted with objects.

Of loving being strong and hating a body so much i fed it to bursting and still don't know how to regulate it

OF being abandoned by half your family for being the wrong color.

Of being so undesired that you think its exciting to tell your roommate that some random high school boy thinks she's fuckable.

OF being shot at , nearly run over, misdiagnosed, under served.

I fought it out with my brains, my voice, and sheer fucking will.

The times I could have been thrown under a bus, lost in a system, or be subsumed in genuine understandable grief, served one purpose.

No one will take care of me / or care for me if it doesn't benefit them.

It's not bitter it's not a belief I'm unloveable.

It's reality.

I came to this stark reality at 21.

But that SFW is a funny a thing. It makes me consumed with ideas and ideals and when D asked why I bothered , something really strange occurred to me.

I really didn't think about the white women.

I think about the stupid and the ridiculous.

I think about the history, and the ideas , the chronologies and the record.

These ideas I type badly from my NYC sanctified slum have saved my life.

I'm really not thinking about this weeks white girl who can't get it through her skull that at 20/30/ what the fuck ever the world won't be handed to her because she took her head out her ass and acted like a human being.

It is about the safeguarding of the ideas , the legacy that will be left behind for girls like me who have no saviors coming.

I never viewed the rants or rages, or general kiss my black ass fuckers as attacks on the people I was engaged with , but attacks on what i think are shitty ideas.

It is not the intent, or the track record, or the newness, or the allegiances .

It is the words , it is the exchange. Since I basically saved my own life and quite possibly my families on the ability to follow through on words and commitments to ideas.

I take em serious. I latch on and off i can be distracted. But my focus is the ideas

Also I am young. I say this over and over and over not to get a pat on the head but to counter an alarming desire for folks to age me as if the maturity they see can at all function in someone under thirty

and I'm venomous and kind of hate filled about it.

Because this wow at my intelligence of maturity isn't always a compliment . It's also a reminder , of how little you ask from everyone whose not me.

How often do I hear " we as young feminists need a break", or " I just meant" or " it's so hard"
or " you ask to much"

For challenges I meet and have superceded at 15, 9, 2. How disgusting do you think it is to hear every damn day about how hard it is to be able to do anything you want, just because no one applauds you , or applauds you enough?

To be cooked and raised and boiled in this double standard that honored oblivious self absorption in some and placed the world on others?

and imagine knowing you had the power to focus on the beyond. The ability to see past it into how real ideas were spread.

That you had foremothers and sisters, that felt happier about their lives because of words. That instead of letting it continue you could use these words your lifeblood to in small ways help lives.

So D my extremely long winded and probably not as well flashed out answer is that

For Real I don't even see them. I see the words the ideas the thoughts the actions, that affect me and mine. These things

I wish to lay waste to

The fact that they come out of people who swear they are different, or ignore me when they can't answer critiques of mine, or try to turn me into a raving savage because they cant dispute my claims...

They have their purpose I have mine.

I only care when they cross.I barely see them. With so much beauty to look beyond to

Why would I?
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Randomness

Why do feminine products, just not do the shit their supposed to?

I shave- EVERYTHING

So why does the one time I try a female geared razzor i nearly kill myself with razor bumbs and general non workingness.

It doesn't need to be pink it needn't spell like roses and fruit.

CAN IT JUST SHAVE MY FUCKING CHOCHA AND PITS WITHOUT RAZOR BURN AND NIKS?

You'll pry the fusion from my dead fingers.

I am by no means fully decolonized but I'm starting to realize there is a HUGE HUGE schism between my definitions of sexy,sexual,fuckable, and attractive, and the generally accepted ones.

I saw the trailer for Akira's Hip Hop. I now want to make out with the guy who plays Ando from Heroes. Also Maxwell. And Patric Fugit grew up CUTE!

Oh and Yul who won survivor I'm gone need him wrapped and delivered to my doorstep.

Who doesn't love Gnarls Barkley?

I never say his name believing it to be something like the calling of the devil. But Bill O 'Reilly

Definitely going to hell, used the fire tragedy to be anti immigration.

I love Angry Brown Butch.

I'm not doing the thinking Blogger thing. I'm so late everybody I's tag got tagged.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NEZUAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maxwell ...... Um you need to have an album out soon. Justin Timberlake brought sexy * HAHAHAHA* I'm sorry I said Justin TImberlake and sexy in the same sentence. HE brought it back for everyone else. I 'm going to need you to bring it back for me.

Speaking of Which BFP , Petit. What's so great about the Timberlake? I hated him since the superbowl, and now my response to him is decidedly MEH. He looks like a really adorable steroided ferret.

Also white artists, I'm gone need you to stop breaking out choirs every time you need to catch some soul. For real though.

However black artist who use choirs in irony . Yeah. John Legend breaking out a choir to emphasize he'll get baptized after finishing his pimping.
* keels over*

I'm desperately frightened on how we have prepared folks to face challenges.

I'm a Mets fan but give the Yankees credit for paying for the funerals of that poor family in the Bronx. It's a good look.

Am I the only one who feels real sad at what the American QAF could have been and what it was?

And when will the UGG boot die?
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AUDITION TIME

Wish me broke n limbs and stuff.

Also anybody know any good books on 19th century social customs( food drink beverages clothing)
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Text /Context/Subtext ?

I'm slow but it only recently occurred to me that the blogosphere is an epistolatory run amok.

We are creating documents by authors who only exist in the documents they create. The text is all.

No matter what happens at the end of it all we are trading texts in hopes of self invention.

The flip side of this is that the context is provided not by the author, but the reader

Yep give up the ghost on that one people, you can never decide in what state you will be read.

The context of how text is read grants it much of it's power.

Lit Crit 101 but one of the resounding threads in many of the current battles , is the same type of battle that is faced by POC/ differently abled/LGBTQ/ in academic circles.

When I answer posts you will often hear me say " I can read" just fine. I mean it in both the well yes special white person I know it's stunning to believe but at 18 months me and Big Bird was rattling of them ABC's but also in the I understand critical reading.

And it's not a skill I value all that much.

The thing about the university baked supposedly critical thinking analysis is the platonic ideal, the ultimate expression of intellectual capability.

It demands what is " widely accepted" as neutral proof and Socratic deconstruction will of course lead us to the razor of truth.

Except within the halls of academe the "proofs" will all be without fail contextualized within a belief system codified by a dependence on facts, figures, and credentials that often only have relevance to a small set of society.

The context within which the arguement is made super cedes the argument. Far too often in academe a person not of the Establishment must not only prove their point, but completely regenerate and construct schools of thought while reconstructing entire theoretical models.

Said introduced the subaltern and people STILL ain't recovered.

What's more interesting is that often the resulting fresh models get clumsily reabsorbed into the predating models, but only by flimsy context .

Audre Lourde suffers this often as much of her textual work, the actual words about how she felt on specific topics is ignored for broader theoretical essays to uphold many feminist thinking systems that she specifically wanted to dismantle.

Within the context of " women's rights" all is possible even if it is not supported by the woman's words.

Blogs as epistolatory novels , are constant trades of text, even with the advent of multimedias inclusion, the construction of blogs are still textual exchange.

What's more the lack of omnipresent or even second person narrative leaves the reader with the ultimate Gatsbian problem.

IS the narrator trustworthy and since the traded texts compromise the entirety of teh shared experience, how much must the reader search for subtext

Often especially in liberal blogland , when the POC's are accused of sensitivity or policing is that they fail to allow the supposed subtext of the " text" to supersede the literalness of the words.

Often what I meant is a constant response to the quoting of the text. The critical thinking model that is so prized can not be upheld when the only proof is text.

Suddenly material proof is less automatically skewed.

There fore constructed narrative ( often thought to be argument) must be argued solely within the realm of the context rather than the drawing out of subtext.

The hidden cultural meanings can no longer be accepted as the established nature of textual trade grounds the origin solely in the provence of the author but the context i n the world of the receipent.

The writing are no longer guaranteed a long academic dis assemblage as some what neutral text but now become emblematic not only of the writers personality but credibility.

Writers revealed to rely too heavily on shared context to wield influence must be very careful to both present neutrality while restricting the context of the reader within their idea of acceptable as outside that context , the text must speak for itself an being so dependent becomes flimsy.

So one must isolate the contributers to the narrative. BFP's post is specific but the recent throwdowns have been about the control of contributed text.

The writers of letters must be as guarded as the words , to be impeached is to literally obliterate entire worlds because the text is ALL of the debate.

Attacking the word and the person are inseparable.


So ass important as ones on contribution to the text is the chosen responders, so is it any wonder that one of the first tactics of any good blogsphere throw down is to systematically avoid teh text and instead go for the much more controllable contextualizingm to insure that subtextual refrence will be shared?
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Okay for real

I may have won MArch but BFP took April already and quite possibly may and june


I love her I just

I mean.

weeps in joy
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My Private Casbah: Can someone with a wordpress ID please do me a favor?

My Private Casbah: Can someone with a wordpress ID please do me a favor?


Bint needs a favor and I knwo somebody got wordpress.


PLEASE for the baby
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I'm stealing Belledame's axe

so I can have something

to grind.

Via BFP ( also Ren EV)


I'm in a pretty fun mood right now. My part time position hired me to teach a course based on one of the collections I teach. I have decided to focus on social history and why the it is often considered revelatory when presented in academic institutions.

So I'm doing my research and I'm getting pissed .

Why because in depth archival research , the stuff of combing through the stacks is often an exercise in retracing the rewriting of history.

How exactly do we lose historical facts , and important debates and sides.

And I'm slowly steaming up.

And then this .

Know what fuck it.

This glorified blog/feminist police thing and the way it's being used in this article .

BULLSHIT!

Utter fucking bullshit.

You'd think I support that the whole let us in bit .

You'd be wrong.

First and foremost let me just be honest , me and Ms Valenti have issues, or more likely I have issues and haven't returned to feministing since this and this was without the Burqa drama which you can't make me go back to with liquor or a brand new laptop . Just can't.

You see I was called blog police for that shit.

The cute little joke between her , Amanda, Lindsey and others was a FEW times connected to me for the following reasons

1) Noticing when a blog lunch looked white, rich and privileged in the middle of gentrifying HArlem . And defending Liz Sabater against be told to mind her betters.

2) Objecting to Amanda making a joke using the costume and dress of a WOC to mock others, issuing the halfest of all half assed apologies, followed by a Marc insinuating in my comments essentially I was non thinking violent ... well you know the rest, then essentially using the public opinion of others who insinuate dI couldn't read and retract it because oh well Lindsey felt that Amanda shouldn't have to apologize nor should Marc and wanted us to say it, AND that the conversation was spearheaded not by allies of mine of even ya know ME . but white women who were superfocused on Amanda and lindsey cause they were just jealous instead of ME being offended hurt and enfuriated and the racist , classist, gloryhogging bullshit.

3) Throwing a fit when people insinuate racism is less accepted than sexism ad it wasn't the work of POC's rather than benevolent power structures.

4) One more again I can't read Nubian hates white folk blah blah privilege soup

5) Objecting To Lindsey saying maybe a way to deal with the Taliban is to take all their women form them

6) Insinuating that the problem with the blow job makeup thing wasn't just yeah or nay sided and that painting it as such was some bullshit victim tactics that purposely devoiced women of color

Lucky Number 7) Essentially being black with an opinion


I was called blog and feminist police for all of those things, and when on Bint's blog I asked JV actual questions , she ignored me.

The response to Nubian was a sorry for the hard feelings ( Nubian left blogging for various reasons , one of them being she's smarter than me)that indeed were partially connected to the myopia of white feminist bloggers.

And now when it comes time to discuss the issue the " blog police" OF COURSE turn magically into older , white middle class feminists.

Who won't let the young one s into power structures.

Suddenly the issue is a lot easier and focused than maybe just maybe , young feminist as a wingeing lot are often as myopic and selfish in regards to the movement as old ones.

Many of the older feminists might have problems not with the youth of it but the focus , and seemingly monolith of it ( or more succinctly the people who choose to claim it)

AND THAT MANY OF THE PEOPLE RAISING A STINK WERE NOT OLD FEMINISTS AT ALL

And of course the problem with FCP isn't it's focus on young white women of a certain income or the shoddy research or the really terrible appropriation of double consciousness and cooning from black performance culturesto make fun of stupid privileged girls in a way that was borderline offensive or the non addressing of the inherent privileges of most of the women

NOPE

Mean to the young feminists.

Jessica was right to use the Delta Zeta episode as a touch stone , because it is an appropriately time conscious and non deep reference. Let's not mention a sorority is a pay function , that requires bidding and payment often into the hundreds of dollars. That

just automatically de selects many entrants.

Not to mention I LOVE the fact that both she and Amanda claim they don't have power in relation to other mainstream feminists, even while they exercise the ability to erase and mischaracterize their dissenters in large scale venues those peopel have no access to.

Of course its easier to seem a guiding fucking light if you omit most of the facts , non?

That when asked what your goals are you can barely elucidate them, in terms that AREN' T directly connected to wanting to be more powerful.

Or that when challenged with these questions is to cut and run or point to these same non powerful blogs as their powerful work?

What is it ?

Is it or ain't it?

And if it is the woe is me stance is just offensive, especially when it is so evident in your silences and rewrites where you stand on certain issues?

Making fun of you BAD. Asking someone to slap a slut, AOK!

And of course when these to " lions" go at it's focused on issues and actions of white women of a certain privilege.

Something that the most misquoted feminist - Audre Lourde mentioned sometime in the second wave.

Masters tools anyone.

What's most infuriating is that while I try and teach an inclusive history, I am and forever will be stymied by shit like this. Re writes of history the constant and repeated silenceing of voices to serve thinly and badly veiled agendas.


The use of critiques of those who have nothing transformed into shields of handwringing for those who already have legitimate positions of influence so you can opine about why you need more in organizations that buy your very etymological discussion of them repeatedly neglect others.

But surely when you get power it will be better because your behavior without was so exemplary.

But we should trust you, even though that same behavior form these mythical door blocking elders is completely unacceptable.

So no I'm sorry I can not ever and will not ever be down for the applauding of mocking feminist police bullshit within the blogosphere.

If they are problems have the problems but I refuse to allow someone else to try and disappear me and mine again with cute buttons and insignia to make themselves look better

Call me Captain Kiss my Ass
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