My neruda

Oh Sylvia

by way of

Kai

( petit poussin promised to start it to)

I am a glorious cliche

Ode to the Black Panther

by Pablo Neruda translated by David Unger

Ode to the Black Panther

It happened 31 years ago,
I can’t forget it,
in Singapore, the rain
falling
hot like blood
on the ancient white walls
half-eaten by the dampness
that left
leprous kisses on them.
The dark crowd
suddenly glowed
in a flash of lightning,
baring teeth
or eyes
and the steel-like sun
was an implacable sword
in the sky.

I stumbled through flooded streets,
the red Betel nuts
lifting themselves
above
the beds of fragrant leaves
and the Dorian fruit
rotted away
in the sultry afternoon.

All of a sudden
I faced a stare
coming out of a cage
in the middle of a street,
two icy circles,
two magnets,
two enemy currents,
two eyes
that penetrated my eyes
and nailed me to the earth
and to the leprous wall.

I then saw
the rippling body
and it was
a trace of velvet
flexing perfectly,
darkest night.

Under her black fur
brushed with dust
flashed topaz rhombuses,
or gold hexagons—
I’m not sure which—!
whenever her thin presence moved.

The thinking
throbbing
panther
was
only
a
savage
queen
in a box
in the middle
of a filthy street.
Out of the jungle
far away from lies,
the stolen spaces,
the bittersweet odor
of humans
and their dust-filled houses
she alone
expressed
through her gem-like
eyes
her disgust,
her burning hatred,
and those eyes
were
two
unbreakable
seals
that closed
until
eternity
a door to the wilderness.

She paced back and forth
like fire and like smoke,
and when she closed her eyes
she became invisible
distant unembraceable night.
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Simple joys

Here are Mondays simple joys.

Grapefruit pepper chicken salad

I have enough hair for an afro puff!!!!! And a big one

Serena Williams video I get to see it!

and the joy of joys

GEORGE TAKEI is on my screen!
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Village Ghetto Land

Starvation roams the streets
Babies die before they're born
Infected by the grief

Now some folks say that we should be
Glad for what we have
Tell me would you be happy in Village Ghetto Land
Village Ghetto Land

I can't say I know Camden .

But I know Queens and I know West Philly.

I know Kingston a bit , and Birmingham.

You see I know these places.

I ll ive(d) in them and the live(d) in me.

I teach in them, was taught in them and was taught by them.

Every now and then these places popup on your radar and depending on the journalists sympathies I know what it will look like.

If the journalist is more conservative its a cess pool of a crime and violence. If they are more " sensitive" it will be the babies.

I often pray for the conservatives.

It is easy for us to watch these things and feel bad. And send up a prayer that I don't live there, or work there.

People from there will tell you over and over how happy they are to escape.

I can say non of these things.

Broadcasts phrase these circumstances in the " look how they suffer in the land of plenty" or " look at how the destroy their lives the ingrates"

It is always a question of lacking, funds or morals, help or control.

Make no mistake what we see is a robbery . The things that go unsaid is that this is not a powerful commentary on an imbalance.

These " reports" are videos of high way robbery.

But to most the poor don't have anything to steal so how can we be robbed.

Billy Joe broke my heart the most. He was 17 doing full time school work and 32.5 hours. That magical number , where they aren't forced to give him any kind of health benefits and comes home to sleep on the floor so no one else too.

He works FULL Time with travel he works FULL TIME.

And he still gets up like a 17 year old boy.

On the floor next to his weights and vents , with the heat that we pray will not kill him in his sleep, in the moments he does not speak with a voice that puts the weight of atlas on his still bony shoulders with words that make his life his fault although he has not lived it yet

Two grown adults yelling his name , his father smiled and he started ,sat up and for a few minutes before he puts on his mask of I CAN DO IT ,he is tired, he is hungry , he is peevish and would give anything to go back to sleep on the cold floor

Because he is a 17 year old boy.

And that is when you know he has been robbed . He is a 17 year old boy and he has never been a child.

To comprehend why he can't have moments of rest as a beautiful growing child he will be a man every other moment of the day but those minutes. And when he is not he will blame himself for not trying hard enough.

I have been a child hungry, and unsure of my next meal. My mother has made choices between food and books and school and heat.

Ten blocks from my cushioned chair in one of the best universities in the world.

I held babies in my laps who begged for extra snacks and hid burns and bruises.

I checked up on these babies when I had to leave and listened as they thought nothing of being SHOT AT.

Because they had been robbed of the expectation that any one thought their life was worth anything.

That is the tragedy of poverty , not the lack of dignity, the lack of things but the robbing.

It is not some condition that is diverse.

When we respect " poverty" as a diversity we are not being good people. We are saying that your constant robbing everyday is OKAY. It is an acceptable function of the world we live in that a child asks for pudding for Christmas. When we say we never knew we aren't being honest, we are saying we've never looked.

We will applaud those who declare that this is something they aren't and try to ignore the desperation hidden just behind their eyes, because if they believe its their fault we never have to see where it is ours. This agency becomes not about the power of people to do things when treated fairly but the power of people to be blamed when they can not climb insurmountable odds .

So that when we do help we are extra rather than not even sufficient. If they are agents and equals , we never have to think about what we have more than them if they do not honor us when we " help". Their " agency" is reason enough for us to play selective with our memories ,our help, and tehir justice . Our slighted emotions become as important as their broken spirits, and we can nurse our wounds and build our myths.

And as long as it's Camden , it's never 52nd and Chesnut or 189 and Concourse. It's this imaginary ghetto far away and on their hands.

And if a woman is robbed at Penn we will send Cops but when children are robbed ten blocks up we will send scorn

And we will make children who can not wish for anything because they don't want to admit they will be sad when no one comes.
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CP time is a wonderful time

I of course am gonna blog for choice about three days late.


My run through went well and please be prepared for SHAMELESS plugging of the show starting soon.

Belledame wins at life. She has so many posts about so many things that I can't even go through them all here . Go read luxuriate in the smart fighting the stupid.

So BFP as usual posts two amazing posts on What is this choice you speak of? and What is good WOC health?

Both of these were excellent things I had read

and then my wife caught a bad one emotionally.

She explains it here but the gem of it for me is number three :

Look at me like I’m a five year old with a nasty case of chicken pox and say “What do you need me to do for you?” Hmm, now that I think about it, I need you to catch this here BRICK.

That sentence explained exactly what I thought about the choice debate,sex,war.

While Wifiekins was talking about a sad personal issue, it really does encapsulate what I feel about a lot of the things I have been semi following in the blogosphere and more importantly the increasingly rancorous feelings I and from what it seems many others I have been having towards fellow " liberals/feminists/progressives/insert the affinity group pissing you off" .

Self determination is a Kwanzaa guideline for a reason. Oppressed peoples of all stripes have often created or fought to maintain their cultures AROUND the oppressive ,hegemonic, invalidating practices of their respective social structures. Santeria, the cake walk, verbal modifications happen because of the need to hide in plain sight.

Invisible Man isn't just a book title but a strikingly perfect name for the idea of having to disappear into the fabric of a society you help build just to stay alive does things to ya.

Unfortunately the things it does aren't just sad and debilitating. Yeah I said it. The things we do to cope are in themselves beautiful and a testimony to our survival

BUT

when even remotely broached with the opportunity to be the people we want to be rather than the cases and , shells and cyphers offered. as our " choices" , well we jump at it in any way venue, music, fucking,dancing,performance.

So when asked what is the ultimate dream , the ultimate health, it is for whatever time we have left

WE WANT TO MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS DANG NAB IT!

And no being a person who " understands" or " agreeing " isn't enough .

Because if you actually did either you wouldn't question the desire to be for ourselves.

And no frankly the constant reverb of well it damages the movement reads liek

" Well I have been able to choose for some time and I choose this and my experience of being able to choose means you should v value my opinion more cause I know you don't and why waste time finding out for yourself when we can indulge the utopia w e can build when you listen to me but if i must I'll listen to you perfunctorily because if you're smart in the ay i think smart is you'll do what ................"

And wifey says it best .

BRICK!

I am pro choice and violently so. I am violently violently against abortion.

ERP REWIND.


Yep I truly hate the very idea of abortions as a black woman and a woman of some native descent. My people are far too likely to die and have been for many a time the objects of bodily mutilation, forced reproduction and I am far to aware of what choice means in poor versus rich full of options circles.

My dearest godsister is mentally differently abled . We love her she is family if anyone even suggested aborting her I would be answering to a judge but

Which is probably why I shouldn't be in charge of SOMEBODY ELSE'S UTERUS.

Of course the boogeymans that come up tend to be about the stigma of multiple abortions or how even other feminists aren't supportive .

Dear God can I please have that be my MAIN worry .

My first thought when I hear such things is

" YOU COULD AFFORD MULTIPLES??"

Yet the presented person is poor and brown. OF COURSE

Because it easy to be pro or anti when you are fighting for this sad cypher of a thing who cant speak for it self.

Pro choice - oh god how sad would her life be if she had to raise more of her!
Ant- How dare we not let this poor thing propagate

The fact is that using the thrust of being for all women has been the LOCK that many groups had on affecting in system change and THATS why they want dissenters to be quiet. It's not altruism , or you know addressing the issues of all women. But the very disturbing fact that much of their ability to do things like marches or calls for the senate can not . as
in

NO FUCKING WAY

be accomplished without women they for much of a time ignored or slighted. SO now history gets a rewrite it was all about ALL women.

Except we were all there when it wasn't and flesh remembers.

And patronizing here honey get enlightened

are being met with metaphorical

and in many places not so metaphorical

Wifey do the honors :

BRICKS TO DA FACE!

the ultimate OC health picture to me my darling BFP ( expect email you too QDFKABL) is one in which my choices are honored and no one has to repeatedly state that WOC can make them without having to answer to anyone els e" smarter" or more " enlightened" or doing us any damn favors.

P.S. Please please help out the people at Koufax Awrds . Donna ( who we all should be reading and loving) has more on it. Plus I was nominated thank you you're all stark raving mad

PPS: How lovely is Fabulosa Mujers illustration. I envy!

PPPS Aint my wife cute! And yes we get odd looks on the street. She the post card for the rebirth of the tall Nordics me the poster child for the Rasta revolution.
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*runs around nervous*

Having Read The Fine Print......

So here's the deal. I'm panicking full out straight up panicking.

Home Alone style.

One woman show I wrote. In a solo works festival, workshopping on SUNDAY.

HAS BA memorized shit. NO! Has BA rewritten twelve times. YES

Does it look like BA is going BACK TO THE ORIGINAL. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BABY!

Scuse me while I scream procrastinate and make random notes . While trying to memorize, perform , warm up and look for other jobs

BA is barely reading blogs but is sad queering me is gone.

if you're not reading Zuky and Nezua ( and I apologize for no accents but my settings turn it into Chinese) , go do so.

Isiah Washington . You are a beautiful beautiful man and a fine fine actor. It kills me to not root for brother out of hand . That being said

NO

JUST NO. NEVER EVER EVER. WHAT THE HECK IS A MATTER WITH YOU!!!!!

Whatever happens to you now is your own damn fault , just never ever don't care. The ONLY reason I'm even remotely hopeful you stay is that the Yang/Burke partnership is one of the few remotely amusing new ones on tv.

DAMN IT you're so pretty too!

Also while i think the man is wrong , dead wrong, all kinds of wrong, I would like to note that where were all these apalled critics when the marriage act was on the table , or when the bass ackwards marriage bills keep getting passed ? If every news station, and star made as much of a fuss as they did when he said it I'd go to the lord happy in my heart.

So no one really steps up when Mel curses Jews even making his movie on o f the most racist piles of crap EVER ( see go read Nezua) NOMINATED but IW says faggot and petitions RIDE it's on every news program!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I gotta watch the daily show to find out Bush is ignoring congress and basically told em to drop dead?

My DSL line makes me happy. I can play games now. And look at porn.

My new rule for good porn. The people fucking have to enjoy it enough to risk being ugly.

The Village Voice has strapped on the skis and leather jacket and is sailing over the shark with an EH! in it's heart.

Lusty Lady the sex column was replaced with .....................

A column featuring over priviliged women complaining how the can't fuck with the nanny in the house. And life is so hard with the housekeeper... and blah blah OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

In one swoop it's turned from the open source sex writing to yuppie dumbass anxiety. BADLY written yuppie dumbassery.

Look it's not that I have any more than my usual objections to the materialistic helpless white woman syndrome but I do have a problem with the phasing out of open source sex.

Open source sex meaning , you didn't have to like Lusty Lady ( personally i just wanted to spank her a bit, yes I'm bi if you've been reading you knew and if you didn't you do now!) , but if you liked spanking, or sex, or a perspective on sex that you couldn't find in the NYT it was useful.


IT COULD TRANSLATE TO SOMEONE BESIDES THE OVER PRIVILEGED UNDER LIBIDOED status fuckers.

I fuck to tell you I fuck rather you know than wanting to fuck! I fuck to compare to my friends ! I wanna be the bestest sex partner ever and write about it cayuse everyone should know.

Mind you I want everyone to know it's in my marriage and I 'd tough i t out cause I'm a good and proper three kids status machine!!!!!!

Mind you the thought of TALKING TO THE PARTNER YOUR FUCKING instead of playing one up with your friend never crossed your mind?

Speaking of sex and talking and blogosphere and the stupid.

Can I say that I get offended when folks constantly talk of being female as if it's tehis state of delicacy or lesbianism as this soft gauzy political Utopian dream.

When I think of a person I DESIRE male or female . I think of them because I wanna FUCK them. Sometimes it's gauzy and sweet and all romanticisms with massage oils ... and sometimes it's half time a well placed cushion and a solid smack on the ass for good work, and sometimes it involves interesting choices with a beer bottle , a shower head, and a long weekend. ( I'm HORNY and annoyed and not getting any I'm a bit graphic)

It's actually revolting as we constantly regress into trying define acceptable sexuality rather than create safety for creation of consensual sexuality.

I ll write more on this later ( i keep saying that I'm just so writing happy I get lost , if anyone remembers what the hell i keep promising a poke would be awesome) but erotics , aesthetics,politics and consent don't always have much to do with each other. You can not erase a person's consent in hopes to improve ANYTHING NOTHING. Consent also has fuck all to do with consensus. You don't get to be attacked by someone stating they live THEIR LIFE THEIR WAY. We all think it would be better isn't a justification. And trying to glamorize a patriarchal institution to dismantle patriarchy is so contradictory it crosses my eyes.

Because yes what we need is MORE laws as those have been awfully helpful.
I have a pussy , I have a brain, and I can use them AT the same time. Though every now and again I request someone fuck one till I lose the other. My body , my choice doesn't just start at my uterus sister.

Also one of the sexiest movies ever.

Scent of Green Papaya. When he flexes his back after playing the piano .......... * dies*

Oh Brooklyn Nets how I hate you.

100 -42= 58 , all I'm saying that leaves plenty of hours for an exploratory impeachment .

And in my you are awesome column, Rep Ellison swearing in on Jefferson's Koran

You sir win at life.


I now return to my regularly scheduled FREAK OUT!

( ps My spelling is better because Mozilla has spell check)

.
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Only on a New York Subway train

GOD IS MAD AT YOU MEN

FOR LUSTING

LUSTING AFTER

WOMENS BUTTS!!!!!!!!!!


DON"T GO TO HELL FOR A BIG BUTT!
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Celluloid Poisoning

>

SLUDGE

Salivation

Lacrimation ( Tears)

Urination

Defecation

Gastrointestinal Distress

Emetis ( Vomiting)

The symptoms of organo-phosphate poisoning

The body goes into a panic . Anything foreign is viewed as poison. Anything in you that resists the full scale purge is viewed as poison. The poison may hurt you, but the reaction will KILL you.

I am the world's poison.

And seeing it confirmed on screen poisoned me.

Alfonso Cuarons's Children of Men made me ill.

It is hard ( and in my case probably damn nigh impossible ) to come to terms that in the minds of one of the most inventive directors working that

Your life is the worst thing imaginable.

I went to see it with a dear friend of mine,M, who is a former habitant of refugee camps. I am the child of Homeland Security and warring populace. We were not prepared for this

Slavoj Zizek in a critique of the film linked on it's front page :

I think that the true infertility is the very lack of meaningful historical experience. It’s a society of pure meaningless hedonism. Today, ideology is no longer big causes such as socialism, equality, justice, democracy. The basic injunction is ‘have a good time’ or to put it in more spiritualist terms ‘realize yourself’. This is why I think Dalai Lama is such a big hit. He preaches enlightened Hollywood egotism; be happy, realize your potentials and so on and so on. And this is our despair today.And this is our despair today. I think that this film gives the best diagnosis of the ideological despair of late capitalism. Of a society without history, or, to use another political term, bio politics.


I agree with him and disagree with him all at once. The crux of the thing is that only from places of comfort can the mourning of a Michelangelo be the great loss of the film , it is not the ahistoricality ( complete made up term for this) but what is out side in the streets.

The constant repetition of history and social despair.

I never saw my father taken . He became a voice on the end of a phoneline with out my approval or closure. But i carry it with me in my very bones, every soldier, every police officer is coming for me, or mine. I am never EVER safe

ALl Immigrants are illegal.

Every woman in that film for those hours became my friends Grandmother.

This is history. When I have children I will teach them this. If they are in my arms when we pass an officer they will always feel me prepare for flight.

She may throw it i n glances to women on streets and screen everywhere.

This IS my history .

Once when I was speaking to a friend we delved into the topic of movies and i kept refraining to him I watched in bits and pieces.

And I could not explain to him why.


But there is something about theatre and movie that prevents in many ways protection.

I watch things in bits and pieces . I seek such control because one of the lasting messages received as the worlds unwanted is that there is SO LITTLE we can control when it comes to what happens to us.

Our needs will often be barely met and we will be expected to thank God for the neglect.

So we ocntrol what we can.

Never let them see you cry.

Try avoid having it confirmed no one cares.

Control yourself .

Ignore the fact that sirens make you nervous. OR that loud sounds frighten you to teh point of curling up in the street.

Make yourself hard

Keep wordless how much you expect of yourself and how little you expect of others.

Do not give voice to the space in your soul that is only emptiness and want.

That you walk a razors edge every moment while others throw around the idea of taking more away form you every day

and deny your history because it is in your skin and hair and nails. in you shivers and shakes. in an astonishing ability to never cry.

Because no one writes long winded tomes to the greatness of your raped flesh , your too tight grip or you need to keep some thing at bay

And if you cry your heart out on the train

No one will care.

Your life will disappear in a flyover and a flash of light, or a phone call and battering ram.

you will carry this poison every day for the rest of your life.

And be asked to thank god for living at all.

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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII got no strings to hold me down!

So you can follow

So you can learn( and ann I do apologize at not having blog rolled you sooner)


Now Stormfront has made it imposisble to access the post from her blog cause we wasps were being mean.

I would like to take this moment to allow my Wifey to laugh heartily. Because this is the first time since the creation of me that ANYBODY would call me a wasp. The mere idea of me being a wasp should convulse into giggles.

But I digress .


Now the problem I have with Storms " critique" and I use it in the loosest sense possible can probaly be summed up in those two links.

But teh comments at QDFKABL manage to cover most of it .But it's me and I get to yell some .

First I am pretty tired of the biological reductionism masquerading as allegory. Ten fingers Ten toes . I am a person nothing more nothing less.

The thing that most bothers me about this is that for the netire duration of this post is a bad flashback to the bad ole days of middle school.

The choosing sides aspects bothers me as for many folks " choosing" would be a luxury something like a unicorn.

Magical , mythical and completly unattainable.

One who is not a desireable does not choose sides. This isnt dodgeball. Peopel aren't playing around with minor irritants or positions. The reason we do not " s hift " positions has les sto do with a preplanned wasp meeting that we should all present a united front that rela life experience and commited BELIEF in what it is we're saying.

And frankly for those of us whom this isn't an exercise in " Theory as Therapy, Rally as Reassurance, and Politic as Personal Proving ground " there is no "Shifting" with out denying a large part of the personal experience if not identity

OR

If I was a woman whose sexuality was very much centered around being able to be freely exhibiotionist with her partner(s)

OR

IF i was a lesbian who liked DP with my two female partners

Or

A gay man who enjoyed anal sex and blow jobs and suddenly was informed that I pretty much had to declare celibacy to be progressive acceptable

OR

intersexed needing to express myself in the " trappings" of oppression

OR

you now NOT WHITE

The idea of simply aquiescing because it helps what is an increasingly myopic and droning definition of feminism( It will be a cold day in hot hell before I ever use her term) makes no sense.

These ( and trust me that's only a small small smattering of the rich diversity) identities aren't things that we can wake up in the next morning and go . OOOOPS TOOLS OF PATRIARCHY must don me know my righteously activist apparel.

Which leads me to the next point.


YOuU OPPRESSOR NEVAH!!&#!!!!!111111!

Except as the lovely Ann points out . You mainstream white woman, or protoo femme , or don't want me to talk about orgasms and tubesteak pearl clutcher.

Yes that would be you and your little snit fit at not being able to get away with telling others what and how to think.

PRIME EXMPLE OF OPPRESSIVE ENTITLEMENT YOU SYNCHOPHANTIC NINNY( look I got this far with out cursing allow me this I'm trying ya'll)

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

JESU JOY OF MY DESIRING!

Infighting IS the destruction of movements NOT because if we could jsut keep it together we'd be stronger than the man/ patriarchy/capitalist/big oil BUT because at


CERTAIN POINTS WE HAVE DIFFERENT FUCKING GOALS .

Considering the long as stage times " proper" white girls have had in re adjusting and being the mouthpiece for " feminism" is it any wonder taht the other say 98.7 percent of it for whom things were not better or more clear in the halycyon days of youre ( which by the bye never really existed) are just a touch annoyed at the idea that our

SPEAKING UP FOR OUR OWN FREZACKIUCKING LIVES is the damage to the movement.

But not say the constant and unflaling need for some people to have both a leader and the most high seat at the damn table while everyone else has to scrounge to eat?

( and yep I still remmber the flack that was caught when it was mentioned at the outcry that arose when a white woman couldnt get an abortion but the near constant backhanded rationalising that went on when black ones needed pads or the deafening silence of Brown ones trying to get their voted counted)

And maybe it's just me and my odd upbringing I hate any remotely fairy tale fantasy that puts a premium on me sitting down and not doing anything Emperess of Queenlyness. The Queens I admired ride into battle and get their hands dirty and tend not to speak in barely covered disneyfied wistfulness but then niether mom nor dad had a fondness for the infantile in me .

SO forgive me if I find the idea of merely shifting to make you feel good about your dodgeball odds.

As appealing as a barium enema

Also figleaf in QDFKABL comment thread

And finally, to be blunt, I said I think this whole feud is kind of stupid, that all of you share 95% of the same political and social objectives and that if you’re all slugging it out in the gutter over doctrinal issues the social conservatives who are the *real* problem can just step across you, and moderates and fence sitters who might otherwise get off the fence ask why they should listen to *either* side… and then go hang out with the social conservatives who offer them tea.
What I did not say in my comment to her, but I will say here, is “Never wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get covered in shit but the pig likes it. And nobody’s going to want to shake the winner’s hand.”
I’m just saying I wish everybody spent more of their considerable talent and energy battling the *real* sexual outrages in society instead of wasting time flaming each other.

My first reaction i s

*tilts head*

*luaghs heartily*

No one is on the fence because they haven't decided whether or not this is an important issue. Peopel tend to be on the fence when the issue is far enough removed from them that having a decisive position is acceptable.

And as the child of farm people , anybody who has aproblem with me doing the honest work I need to do even if it involves pig shit better hand me a towel or get the fuck out my pen.

Peopel have the personal views and many of teh political views ( if the y have a working brain and reasonably intach conscience ) because IT WORKS FOR THEM.

I get sick when I see dead women and babies so hence if it will kill women and babies Blackamazon is against it. No altruism really there. I am not the center of teh universe but I'll be damned if I won't do my darndest to try and make my section the best it can be for me

AND THE GOALS I SAY I WANT TO ACHEIVE!

Sounds horrible but I'm a selfish bitch , and you know what most of us are . THANK YOU GOD!

This doesn't make us bad people it makes us PEOPLE. The fact that calling people on their dishonesty and at times grossly frightening groupthink is destroying objectives makes me wonder how strong those objectives are


Thi isn't some "feud" this is about a constant and offhanded ease it takes for some people to dehumanize , dissmiss , villify , and straight disappear ( RE never had a hit list,I HAD A KISS MY ASS LIST but hey whats facts, and you do know kactus and BFP also tend to have stuff to say and DOnna but hey porn star easier to pick on. ) .

I refuse to count the fact that for THEIR OWN REASON that help them they do the same thing I do 95 -99 % of the time if the remaining 5-1 % tends to result in some of the most amazingly ridiculous bigotry and asshatterysimply because some one else down the lane disagrees with me a little more.

I don't need nor do any favors. ( And I don't have a clique , what the fuck?!?! I talk to whoever I like and whoever has the gumption to IM me where i tend to be happy hyper and random hit me up I'm always game, so if someone got a problem you know where to find me , IF you want to get my email jsut ask)

If you in it for the revolution you are in it and the idea that this is a place where we may be weak doesn't lead to hiding behind passwords

And making the fucking bullshit twee statement of " it feels like dirty money"

Nice to know you can turn down money. And that your concept of discussion of supposedly deep concern over issues is so damn smug .

Tell that to the millions of women you want to erase so you can save the ones who keep asking you to butt the fuck out.

And I have a whoele nother post dedicated to this bullshit of flowers and pollintion.

But as We're not children dears

It's called desire and fucking whats next my pussys gonna me my hooha again?!?

And while you may be able to keep you desire in very good straight commune feminist approved boxes.

Some of us might like givingjuicy moist sloppy head during half time , or a lavender and candelight, or a hot sweaty fuck in a cold dark alley

and wake up to protest the next day . SO obviously it's not the fucking that prevents us from being active or TALKING LIKE FUCKING GROWN UPS

Also I did notice that certain minor wasps didn't get names

Awwww Why?

Because for all your handwringing over the bumblebees who are scred you had to sink to that bullshit of calling us 3rd grade names?

And the idea that for many of the wasps as LIFELONG people with desires/heritages/lives /loves that put us in pposition where being calle d name would be a GOOD day , you decided to maybe not fuck with teh wrongs one today?

Because trust me I've been called shit you better not DREAM of and still said what I felt and stood where I stood . And I'm still here

Or maybe the truth is taht bumbelebees sting and die .

Women get stung and live

And best believe I am A KOKO taylor strong backed

W-O-M-A-N.
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SOMALIA

WHY THE BLUE HERON BLAZES ARE WE BOMBING SOMALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST ARGGGGGGG!
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LETS GO!

http://stormcloud.wordpress.com/2007/01/07/its-a-bugs-life-epilogue/


I hvae to fight my damn ticket but I'm gonna have some fun with this one oh yes indeedy do.
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Thinking bout Oprah

I was surfing on the web and in
blackfolkand went to CVs and kept coming across the Oprah South African School controversy and also Half-Dollar talking about Oprah.

And I'm gravelly conflicted about it

On one hand as an educator of inner city kids both good and bad . I feel like throwing a shoe. It riles me up when kids are demonized when theyre KIDs about wanting to attain the things that are shown as important ain american society. Also I know kids right now who would happily give their left arm for a good eductaion and their right for a safe place to get it in.

And i know kids who are mean superficial greedy spoiled brats and what i wouldn't give for a chanche to beat them up and down the street. I also wonder why they are more scornable than the selfish asswhiles who i went to " good schools" with, both black and brown and white

BUT

then I also thoughtOprah rich as she is hands out money more so than almost any other philanthropist alive and in open ways. She HAS endowed MULTIPLE inner city , HBCU, and poverty funds. She makes other folks give money. She BELEIVES in it.and YEs this is a glorifyingly egoistic thing to do

BUT

If everytime sh e wants an ego stroke 500 some odd impoverished children in countries people honestly don't give a fuck about get immaculate educationsis it really that bad.
BUT

Yeah she should know better . She should know her pull. BUT what if she does

What if she just wanted to get that out there.

Not to mention

Why is it when Cosby ran his mouth people came out to defend him STRONGLY rather than say ohhh it's his money. OR that's not that serious he's telling trutha nd his have been much worse statements .

Yet a one off quote form her ( and even she has admitted it being the fault of he rgeneration in other venues) is the height of sell out ness??and part of me gets real antsy and the fact that yes some of it is based on her femaleness how dare she not express an opinion that isn't validated en masse by some large group?!?Plus why is it her responsibility to do better and Cosby's opinion therfore no big deal for him? And yes I think Cosby has comparative pull

Also She wanted to help girls like her and this is where she found them. Does everyone forget where she came from or was just she supposed to?

There is a picture of her in People holding two girls with her chin on one. And she looks so peaceful and happy and wonderful and As a sister ( and one who disagrees with her on lots) I saw it and said dear god I wish every black woman and every woman had the opportunity to feel that full of joy. She looks happy. She looks deliriously happy , she looks happy in the way that very few People and even less sisters get to look . The happy that happens when you don't have to ask nobody about how you are supposed to d o things.

Why shouldn't she be allowed to do that in a way that makes her happy. And why shouldnt she enjoy that?

Why is fifty getting so much facetime questioning and maligning her ability to say whatever the hell she wants. Where are the folks telling him to sit down. But monie love gets fired for telling Young Jeezy the TRUTH?and I get a bit sad, in so many different ways and wanted to know what you all thought.

Cause way to much of it strikes me as shes not being a proper beats of burden and that

That pisses me off
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Philadelphia Freedom

This is a no link Blackamazon ramble . I have lots of folks I mean to link to but nor before i thanks em personally so for now I will be using names and examples sans linkage

I would first and foremost like to thank everyone who has linked supported I'med me or poked me and please know I am trying my best to put my big breasted large ass in motion to send e cards hugs love and general thank you's all around.

I would also promise all of you , and there does seem to be a blooming lot of ya that I would not end this blog with out something more than a DONE.

I'm both Carribean and probably converting to Catholicism . I'm WAAAAAAAAAY to fond of a final confession/cuss out to up and leave with out telling folks some stuiff up them their blogs and their mamas. WHich would make it a regular day on this blog but hey.

When things escalate to the point that no one seems to be listening , someone has to stop talking .

And it was me.

I chose to shut the fuck up and tell people I was doing it. I also closed comments. Why ?

Because I didn't want anyone to dedicate any time to convincing me to start talking.

Any body who really wanted to talk to me found a way or said their stuff and I knew they said it cause I was reading.

Part of my ADD is the fact taht it presents as two completely seperate disorders when I get stressed.

Dyslexia ( hence my creative relationship with the QWERTY keyboard and standard spelling) and Asperger's.

I have a REALLY hard time in escalated emotional situations. I IMMEDIATELY wanna fix the problem, because I start getting physically ill. I also process verbal cues,facial cues, and body cues as completely SEPERATE things.

Which is a problem inside of intertextual cyber debate ( well it can be my college professors though i was a savant at this shit ).

I TAKE WORDS AT FACE VALUE.

I read what you write, i like it don't , respond , ignore , solely on the words.
I am not doing deep subtextual analysis( which I will post about later ). So if when Lindsey in her dipshitness says come on be a critical reader , she's appealing to a skill I both lack and was never taught to value.

I'm an analyst. I get whatever I got and i pull it apart putit together say what I mean and keeps it going.

I have no use or desire to " add" my long winded intent or psychological babble into someone else words those are for my words. and mine alone.

So if you see me ever get really really frustrated , it will always be around the idea of INDUCTIVE reasoning. I will lose my shit everytime.

BECAUSE so much of it is anchored on solely the elevation of one's opinion to some kind of highground. To me it's

BULLSHIT

If it's your opinion , ESPECIALLY in a decidedly non academic atmosphere unless you gone hit me with quotes ( and i f you do BFP, BItchlab I appreciates it GREATLY) you're basically trying to use big words and the mysterious omnipotent voice to make an argument .

instead of you knwo making the damn argument.

( Ps which is why as a history major my feelings about the "Enlightenment" vary GREATLY from you avergae philosopher . )

Also for real though.


The Twisty thing.

HAS NO EXCUSE NONE .

SHUT THE FUCK UP

I'm serious


There is no excuse . I don't care if your ass personally attended the March on Washington to sit idly by and let ANYONE use flagrantly disablity mocking , hate mongering horseshit and let it stand.

THERE IS NONE .

Oh and while I'm here I would like to specificallya nd straight up say some shit that's been sitting on my soul so that i don't take it into the new year with me.

*clears throat*

Dear Amanda MArcotte,

You've been angling for a fight with Bitch and Belle and RMildred over burqa/clinton/you were an asshat gate. It WASN"T just two white women after your ass. I do believe BFp and I and a COUPLE OF OTHER WOMEN OF COLOR AND MEN OF OCLOR were grossly unhappy with how you behaved . Not teh cartoon or photo but how you behaved, and how you sat back and let others behave in your name

You are a damn hypocrite.

Can't be bothered when the same crowd complains about moderation?!?

Wait so when someone says that the space your so excited gets you e mentions and invitations and pats on the head and links. is left to be a ces spool of dumbasshattery.

Your time becomes more valkuable than moderating it . ESPECIALLY since when it suits you you have more than enough time to go to othe rblogs and moan about how racism has trumped sexism, rewrite history, and take thinly veiled potshots . at people. At dedicate entire posts to teh fact that you only make comments on certain blogs when you need to lift topics and even in that case only give the most perfunctory smug reading of it while completely missinterpreting the ACTUAL WORDS ON THE FROFRACKING PAGE?!?!

This presupposition that you and your time are better than the peopel who allow you your unbridled ego IS TEH DEFINITION OF Bourgois superiority.

YOu so much better as you work your way into white collarness and constantly mischaracterize the words of non mainstream armchair quarterbacking lipservice paying women because you seem to resent anybody who doesnt wear their inferiority complex on their sleeve?

B ut you do seme to constantly erase the fact that other folks and by other folks I mean not the ones who you can trot off to the loyal following as pro porn nymphobots have some SERIOUS problems with your shit?

And then wanna bring it up when peopel are calling HUMAN BEING animals and subhumans.

No.

Seriously . Want to see some fire works ( from someone who for all intents and purposes really does trump your EVERY SINGLE marker of socio economic " responsibility" ) keep playing . Danke ( also cc this to twisty)

THERE IS NO EXCUSE.

And what is the most horrifying thing about this is that . It needn't be a production.

I work ALOT . COme to teh blog find stuff that is horrifying ( only within my policy ) either SAY SOMETHING or you knwo shut it down and state that this isn't you and you apologize.

BUt nope no gotta be right everyfucking time. IT's not okay it's just not

Bitch Lab and I keep talking round robinny about this magazine idea and I sat in my wifes apartment ( I love my wifey) thinking about this and I realized why it seems o important to me now.

I SHOULD be the child of feminism. I Should be . IF you pick up most theory books i am young college educated reasonably intelligent working class , poor( one speaks to my class the other to bank account yes those are DIFFERENT THINGS)

except

NO.


Feminism , radical in a big way . MEant shit to me. and in many ways did shit for me.

And this is not the words of osmeon who wasn't concerned with women , or women's rights.

BUt exactly howmany times do women have to hear that thheir desires are stupid , or that their allegiance to their cultures, or religions is anti woman before they figure out that "woman " is everyone but them.

Or how many times do tehy have to NOT see themselves in analysis and literature, and rallies ,

or how many times do I get to have the message it is more important that you recruit more women who look like her than protect women who look like me before I get to bput my self first?

As we were chatting one night I explained to my wife that young as my simple ass is

I have seen and heard a lot of shit . A LOT OF SHIT

and teh only thing I ask of folks is that people never take away my ability to defend and be for myself.

ANd far to often much of the more stringent/mainstream/Democratic party apporoved theory does that .


It tries to force me in to spectordom , or insinuate that people aren't what tehy say they are in hopes of silencing their voices.

( wasp vs bees . ONe HAVE YOU SEEN MY BLACK ASS and TWo just step your game up)

I can't be really being supported because of course it's more about someone else than me.

Or i'm not there because its doesn't fit your pleasant fiction.

MOther Matriarchy and father patriarchy know best?

The reason I enjoy blogging and I have enjoyed reading blogs is taht for far too long a certain kind of man/woman/discourse has run teh table. Too often pretending were not here is a great way to invent us into th necessary slot fillers except now peopel who

ARE NOT HAPPY.

Get to speak for themselves. We're not trolls we're not agent provacteurs

we're people speaking words and teh fact that their words you spent so much time tamping down does not make them any less true or us anyless real.

And oddly enough when we dialogue weird alliances are formed. Virgins and whores stand in support of palestinian mothers and darfur refugges while new york latte liberals write ivy league letters to MExican PM's for soldiarity in OAXACA.

And we do it with out being handmaidens to patriarchy, animals , or ghosts. We're people trying to live or lives and yes we're not always shiny and happy holding hands but i Think we can and have made it farther than many of you reading ever though and wil continue

We don't look like some fancified utopia full of big words, small minds adn goosestep groupthink

We are no ones dream

and for that

I thank GOD

And if you are so opposed to the idea that people can think without your instruction


Kiss my natural black ass.


Comments are no unmoderated and by that I mean I don't wanna have to stop teh flow of discussion so i can say yes or no. BUt trust me bug tthe fuck out get xed the fuck out
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Further Notice

Okay troll boys who seem to be overrunning the site now.


See the tagline below the posts.

As long as those say Blackamazon . Your bullshit not getting through.

Just not nope no way.

Anti-semitism, talking badly about black babies, generally toolishness, oh hell naw.

If my blog is incoherent why are you here?


Oh yep that's right

The fat nigger bitch still pulls more intellectual sense, and hits than ye olde cess pool of hate and in tolerance that you pass off as wit and research.

and nope never in no way will you use even the resting HRTFP to try and propogate dumbness and spread information in hopes of disturbing a legal case.

No go shoo ! Isn't there some meeting of your fellow MRA's or Stormfront fellows you should be attending while the coloreds plan to get your ass?

TOODLES!
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