Imperative of the Life

The imperative of my life is reconciliation

I am corrupting the meme because I think it is time for us to be imperative aboutwhat folks need to know.

My imperative is reconciliation and my name

I am the ultimate outsider insider.

I was born a poor black child.

I was born a spoiled mixed immigrant.

I was born developmentally disabled.

I was born a Mensa member.

I am an opera caliber singer

Forged in the fire of hiphop.

I was born sticking out when I wanted in ( guess my rising sign I'll give you an internet cookie)

But I was born

I was born

I was born.

It has been about reconciling a self that has me writing as an Amazon

But being called Mama when I was 13

It has been about what I will and will not claim.

How I will and will not allow myself and my individuality to be used.

This is not it

( no one's crazy enough to invite me to shit so we can not worry about this)

I had honestly intended to leave it alone when I finished reading it in borders today, because the propel wondering if I was going to incinerate it in my hands was enough.

But Nezua's right and so is Donna

I have no desire to be good and as things GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE for women , and people seem to have no idea why their mad. We have to sya the real or say the real consequences.

I am not demoralized. I am disgusted.

And I am naming names.

Nubian who has of course left for her sanity was right about this six months ago

WHEN SHE JUST SAW THE DAMN COVER

But this has nothing to do with me.

As a woman of color

As a woman of a certain class

As a woman of a certain education level and mindset

As a woman of a certain faith

So officially when I say

I'm not a feminist but,

If this is how you will be introducing "feminism" to young women,

Ms Valenti

When I say this is not me,

I would appreciate if you not be so brilliantly uninformed as to try and disrespectful as to try and dismiss offhand like I was some recalcitrant toddler or couch your condescension by only quoting the most baseless ( yet the fact it comes up in every piece you talk about ) homophobic bile in an effort to make yourself look better.

As a 22 year old women reading this book , I felt disrespected. As a teacher of nearly 9 years especially of "at risk " youth, I was appalled.

Young women do not need friends who reduce their problems with feminism to some issue with the coolness factor.

The definitely do not need it from people who would choose a very specific half naked torso and various approximations of Valley girl lingo .

I am a young woman who is NOT a feminist. I am a young woman who is one of many young women who has disagreed ,disengaged, delinked, and been disrespected by many of the feminist sisterhood.

I am part of a much longer line of women who has been caricatured, stolen from, and used .

Here our a young woman's problem with "feminism"

ESPECIALLY the full frontal kind.

It is lovely that the control of our bodies in the eyes of a leader is simply the war of prudes versus fun gals.

More so the idea that babies are our punishment is something that can only occur for someone who lives to expect that the babies she chooses to have some day will be valued.

As a WOC I can point you to dozens of countries where our people are forcibly sterelized .

While we can always always count on our outraged American white women to show up if the rights to abortions aka : "the insurance to fuck like entitled white men" is threatened where are they when women who wish to have children suffer dangerous fistulas , or bleed out due to lack of healthcare.

Is it not a feminist issue when our sisters and mothers in America are almost guaranteed subpar pre-natal health care. Is it not a feminist issue because those bellies don't look good without disembodied spare parts.

As a young woman the unattainable beauty standards and large weddings that you seem to think we can be deprogrammed out of are NOT just media received messages nor are they for some of us simply patriarchy programming.

I have long hair,big breasts, and a decidedly femme sensibility

Because it is my culture , and also because of who I am if i was not my life would be amazingly difficult.

It is disturbing to me that you seem to agree with the media culture that the young women who might choose this are as shallow and vapid as you make us sound.

That we may not have a decision to dress in certain ways that are culturally but not media influenced.

Or the very real influence it has on our lives.

The chapter Feminist do it better and other sex tips.

Thank you for subscribing to every cliche known to man that our block to feminism comes from some post Vagina Monologues obsession about our cunts.

Which yes even at 22 I am not so ashamed to mention.

It is not all about sex . The abortion debate is not all about sex. we are not little children in need of fairy tales to understand the very real consequences of lack of body autonomy.

We need no demonized cabals of people and we for sure don't need the junior encouragement of "making fun of the prudes" to instruct us into action.

I am not as a young woman in need of a faux peer , I need allies and understanding

I am of a generation where the money invested in our education is consistently dwindling, Where the difference between a student who graduated the year before me and my year debt was upped nearly six thousand dollars

Our access to health care )if We're not the kind of women who honestly feel that fights about their disposable are the ultimate barrier to feminism) is of consistently poor quality. Those doctors you seem to feel okay farming us out to have a bad habit of misdiagnosing some of us , regularly, without fail.

If we can get there.


My big problem with this book ,with the blogosphere, with the conduct of many of these big lefty feminist bloggers.

Is that tehy insist on acting immature, defensive,obtuse, oblibious and stealing and calling it " young feminism"

When women of color expressed a problem with teh use of racist tropes to make fun of women bloggers.

These women insulted my intelligence,and my reading comprehension, they did drive by posts intimating that Bint was feeling special things all in her head , And the rest of them stood by.

When WOMEN were forcibly torn from their children , they stood by.

But a Quizno's sub commercial , or a fashion model hundreds of comments. Lots of attention

This type of thing isn't about age or youth or seriousness.

It's about selfishness , and attention grubbing entitlement.

When Jessica Valenti wrote a post dedicated to the indictment of elders as a young feminist , she predicated it on teh fact that of course they were doing it because she was young.

When another young woma n disagreed with her on Ampersand because she obtusely either intetionally or carelessly made sure to aggrandize the upperclass organizations she wanted acess to as the face of feminism.

She made sure to criticize the women's reading and never show up again.

Feminism is a full frontal media assault where issues are only important as long as you cna get some power.

You claim to speak for young feminists being out of the age range of MANY of our primary concerns.

You do not engage in any real feminist interaction with the women you claim to want to reach , a multitude of people who have reject feminism unless their rejection can be characterized or remedied by glibness,condescension and tut tuts to the most superficial or the emotions coursing through what is an obscenely difficult time in our lives.

You know better cause your older but older feminists are cruel.

You will show up anywhere to correct ( often glibly and incoorrectly) perceptions of yourself.

You post attack s on women as long as their on the wrong side.

But you have the gall to say this feminism addresses it's issues. When you can be barely pressed to engage the women of color who have issues with? you have the nerve to sell an idea to young women that it is open when you hope to make your money off the very fact it's not.

The problem with this book is that for a feminist you have embraced through trying to counteract every untrue, malicious , and simplistic view of the shallowness of women, and our concerns and thing if you put in soundbytes we won't notice that your only talking to a few of us and simply using the rest of us to look good.

But worse you claim to do it in my name.

Yes my name

A young woman, with hopes dreams goals fears and challenges.

None of which you addressed in any substantial form,

none of which you consider to have more life that three line posts.

Feminism is failing because too many feminists believe the worst in the women they claim to be reaching.

As a proud woman

as an imperative of my life , my love, my very being

if you get nothing else

get this

NOT NOW

NOT EVER

but especially

if this is all you have to offer

NOT IN MY FUCKING NAME

THIS IS WHY I AM NOT A FEMINIST


Donna , Ren EV, BFP,Kai, Kevin,Nezua and Bint what are the imperatives we need to know?